Thirty is still the magic, somewhat random number for people allowed to attend weddings and funerals. We all know what’s not so great about 30. It can be a difficult, almost impossible task to reduce a large list of family and friends to that. Large families will probably hit 30 before they’ve even got to their cousins. But are there any silver linings to this cloud? Is there any way that a small ceremony could be good for you?

Like everyone, as a celebrant, I’ve had to adapt to the new restrictions. In some ways, I’ve enjoyed the challenge. Some families have been relieved by the change. So, channeling my inner Pollyanna, I set my mind to think of as many advantages as possible of a small ceremony.  As it turns out, they are pretty significant.

The advantages of a small ceremony

Intimate: smaller ceremonies give you the opportunity to talk in-depth to your guests, in a way that’s impossible with a large group.

Less pressure: if you find the spotlight stressful, a smaller gathering will be easier for you. Only having your nearest and dearest around you could be just what you need to deal with stress, nerves or a sense of overwhelm.

Relaxed: large numbers require much more organisation, with lots of logistics to deal with eg who’s staying where, is there enough parking, special dietary requirements, mobility issues, entertainment for kids and so on.

Cost: a smaller event will be cheaper. With the average wedding costing £34,000 and even a modest funeral wake costing from £1,000, a scaled-down occasion could make a big difference. You always have the choice of course, either to save the money, or just blow the budget on fewer people!

Cosy: smaller numbers mean a smaller venue, which can bring a very cosy vibe. As we approach autumn and winter, you can indulge in the whole open fire, warm colours, winter wonderland theme.

Expectations: if you’ve been getting low-level direction, or overt expectations from your family or friends, maybe this is the perfect opportunity to free yourself of those and do exactly what you want.

Focus: What is your ceremony all about? When numbers are limited, it helps you focus on who’s most important and the love and meaning behind your ceremony – which will be the same, whether it’s in front of 30 or 300 people.

A small or large ceremony? Consider all your options

My advice is to consider all the possible options, and don’t reject anything straightaway. Maybe you’ll stick with your original plan, or maybe you’ll go with a small ceremony. There are so many ways to say ‘I do’, ‘farewell’: don’t feel you need to be limited to just what you’ve heard. Talking to a celebrant can open up new possibilities.

I hope that whatever decision you reach, it brings you a much-needed and genuine, Zen-like calm in these perplexing days.

The post 30 is the magic number: why a small ceremony could be good for you appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

My tips for a memorable, successful outdoor ceremony

In time-honoured blog fashion, I have 10 tips up my sleeve, and they apply to all kinds of ceremony. I’m interested in beautiful, practical and personal ceremonies, which skip neatly around most of the most common pitfalls.

1. The UK weather. Enough said. You and your guests are planning to look your best, so don’t let the weather ruin it. Having a Plan B is essential. Fortunately, we’re very good at this in the UK.  Too hot, too cold, too wet, too windy are all things that happen. Wet weather is best dealt with by going under cover. Umbrellas work up to a point but only when the rain comes straight down, and even then you’ll have a soggy lap – not a good look. On a hot day, it only takes a few minutes sitting on a plastic chair to feel uncomfortable. So seek out natural shade, rig up an awning, hire a gazebo, or a marquee. Offer water, paper fans, white umbrellas and suncream. For the odd shower, white or clear umbrellas look nicer than a mismatch of wonky, patterned and  branded brollies.

2. Are they sitting comfortably? This question is just as much about focus and concentration. We all relax better when we’re sitting down. Also, it’s good to consider the needs of the older generation and families with young children. People tend to overestimate how long they’ll be comfortable standing. I reckon 20 minutes – tops. Arrange your seating in a warm, friendly curve, so everyone can see each other.

3. Create a backdrop. Again, Nature often provides a stunning solution. If you’re having a photographer, she/he will make a bee-line for a good backdrop. You can also create a beautiful focal point with flowers, awnings, archways, or just the view into the distance. I wrote a blog all about that, if you need some inspiration.

4. Think about the light. Most photographers prefer the light earlier or later in the day. It’s not only more flattering, but the noon sun can be unforgiving. The general tendency in life is to have a ceremony, followed by a feast, so if you’re offering lunch, I would start the ceremony at 11.30am. Sunset ceremonies are also lovely.

5. Theme it. Even a simple colour theme brings a ceremony together visually. Looking deeper, how do you want your guests to feel and remember about the occasion. Will your day be playful, joyous, serious or reflective?  If you want an relaxed, romantic atmosphere – what will you choose for the colours, sights, smells, tastes and sounds?

6. Manage background noise. When the stage is all set for a romantic declaration of love and someone decides that THIS is the perfect time to rev up the chainsaw or mow the lawn, it does breaks the spell. If you’re at a hotel venue, that’s less of a problem. If you’re using your own garden, have a friendly word with the neighbours.

7. Can everybody hear me?! Forget the chainsaw, even Nature can be surprisingly noisy and if you have seagulls (we have lots of seagulls in Dorset), or even just a windy day, you can lose sound very easily. A simple microphone and speaker may be needed.

8. Music makes a ceremony. The right choice of music really brings a ceremony to life and helps create the atmosphere you’re after. Live musicians are always wonderful. If you’re using recorded music, check your system and then check it again. It’s incredible how something that works perfectly in one setting, refuses to in another. If you’re paranoid like me, have a back-up,  preferably with lovely wires.

9. Have a clear beginning and end to your ceremony. It can be slightly more challenging to round up guests for outdoor ceremonies. Have a ceremony sheet or at least clear instructions that We’re Starting Now and Time For Champagne, and so on. At the end, you want to keep the momentum and not have confused people drifting off into the middle distance. Rounding people up and keeping them in the right place for the ceremony is also part of my job as a celebrant.

10. Put your heart into it. This is a bit of a cheat but it’s as true of an outdoor ceremony as an indoor one. A ceremony is only as good as the words that are used: beautiful, heartfelt words that capture your thoughts and feelings. The real magic comes when a ceremony is a true expression of you. This takes time, thought, experience and an excellent celebrant (lol). Words and I have been best friends for a very long time.

If you have an occasion in mind, think about how a bespoke ceremony could lift it from being a special day to an extraordinarily wonderful, brilliant day! If I can help you, I’d love to x.

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There are 3 things that magnolia can never be a) memorable b) individual or c) inspiring. Nobody wants a magnolia wedding ceremony and yet, with civil ceremonies, it’s the same basic script every time. You have options A, B or C for the vows and personal promises, which most people would regard as the most special part of the ceremony. There are more choices of coffee in the average coffee shop!

It could be a lot better. It could be a lot more like you.

Civil ceremonies conducted by registrars, however lovely, are restricted by rules, standardisation and time. If you had the choice, wouldn’t you like to ditch all that and make every aspect of your wedding ceremony as special as the rest of your day? Well you can.

Enter the wedding celebrant! However you want your wedding ceremony to be, I will lavish time and creativity on it, to ensure it’s colourful, memorable and personal. It won’t be bland, that’s a guarantee.

You might hanker for relaxation – shades of ice creams and beach huts. You might wish for old romance in dove greys, chalky pinks and lavenders. Perhaps you’re after a shot of energy with the brights – the cobalt blues and emerald greens, or the luxuriant reds, plums and golds. You get the picture.

I love colour from the palest neutrals to the inkiest charcoals and if you do too, here are 10 ways to make sure your wedding is anything but magnolia. As one groom Dave said to me recently, “Your ideas are amazing!” He meant it in a good way (!) and I hope you feel inspired.

10 colour pops for your wedding ceremony

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• Does the venue have colours you love? Highlight those. Is it a blank canvas? Get creative! It’s worth considering your colour scheme at the enquiry stage, because depending on how much time and money you have to spend, what’s already there might be a big help – or not.
• Good lighting makes a big impact – a little neon goes a long way and can look really cool as do all the amazing string lights out there.
• Bring your favourite colours into extra rituals such as ribbons for a handfasting, unity candle, or a cocktail ceremony.
• Create a rainbow of promises, with every colour as special quality you wish to bring into your marriage. Traditional interpretations are red for energy; orange for creativity; yellow for happiness, green for growth, blue for trust, indigo for spirituality and violet for wisdom but why not just make up your own.
• Choose a colourful song that everyone can sing along to. Here’s just a few that work brilliantly: 99 Red Balloons by Nena; Raspberry Beret by Prince; Yellow Submarine by The Beatles; Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison; Mr Blue Sky by ELO.
• Create a colourful tree for guests to write their wish for your new life. There are many examples on Pinterest – search for ‘tree of wishes’ or ‘thankful tree’ which is for Thanksgiving actually but has lovely ideas.
• Link the senses and match your colours to lovely scents such as lavender, rose, mint, citrus, sandalwood – to make your colour palette work on an extra level.
• Colourpop your favours – macarons come in amazing colours and also vintage sweets, for example.
• On a purely visual level, darker and paler versions of the same colour work well as contrasts and stop your scheme getting too much. You can use a paint chart for inspiration.
• Add a shot of colour into your outfit: shoes, nail colour or hair jewellery are great candidates. Or go the whole way. One of my favourite examples was the bride who wore an emerald green sheer cloak over a blue velvet dress. It was stunning.

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Contact me

Whatever you decide, have what you want and I hope it’s a beautiful day!

If you’d like to discuss your wedding ceremony with me, please contact me for more information and to find out my availability.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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It’s the relationships and stories that star in the ceremonies I lead – be it a large, formal wedding or a small, intimate funeral. In the end, we are always celebrating Love and re-connecting with each other through ceremony, which is so vital in our fast-paced world. So, what can you expect from me as your wedding or funeral celebrant? A beautiful, bespoke ceremony, created by me in collaboration with you, delivered with warmth and professionalism. Every single ceremony is special and unique to me. It may be simple but never basic; elaborate but never excessive; creative but never glib.

The big days in our lives don’t come along very often, so it’s unusual for anyone to be 100% clear about what kind of ceremony they would like. I help you with that. Knowing what works and having an instinct for the flow of a ceremony all come from experience. Sometimes I find it hard to put into words why one reading feels better first or second. It’s usually to do with the flow and meaning of the ceremony. Sometimes it just feels better that way!

Whenever possible, I like to meet people in person before writing any kind of ceremony. By the end of that first meeting, I hope that you will have confidence in me – that I’ve understood what you want and that I’ll create a personal, memorable ceremony for you.

HOW TO CHOOSE A CELEBRANT

When you choose a celebrant, getting on well together and trusting them with your special day is so important. Celebrants come in all shapes and sizes but their personality and values are the x-factor.

I’m very calm and I’d like to help you feel calm, so you can be ‘in the moment’ on the day of the ceremony. I have a good sense of humour – in keeping with the occasion. Tuning into people’s feelings is an essential quality of an experienced celebrant. Whatever you’re feeling: excited, nervous, happy or sad – I will lead the ceremony we’ve planned and created together, exactly as you hoped.

Credit: Dawn Potter

I’m very grateful to get this kind of feedback:

“Thank you most sincerely for the beautiful service you gave for Jim on Friday. Everyone has said how lovely it was. You fulfilled my wishes completely making it all about him with humour and sensitivity. I was very sad but I know he would have been very happy with everything.”

“We just wanted to say a bit thank you for the way you conducted our wedding. You kept us all giggling and created a wonderful and relaxed ceremony and atmosphere which was exactly what we both wanted. Thank you for helping to make our day so very special.”

Kind words like this make me very happy.

For more information on the ceremonies I lead, please look at the pages on my website for weddings or renewals of vows or funerals

It would be a huge privilege to be your celebrant. Please Contact me if you’d like to talk about a special day that’s coming up for you.

The post What to expect from me as your celebrant appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.