What does a wedding celebrant do?

A wedding celebrant creates a highly-personalised wedding ceremony,  tailored to a couple’s personalities and the style of their wedding day. The ceremony is crafted – like a made-to-measure suit, or a bespoke wedding dress. I spend time with you, getting to know you, understanding the vibe you want to create on your wedding day, so the ceremony fits you both perfectly.

What’s different about a celebrant wedding?

A celebrant wedding is the most free and flexible ceremony you can imagine. Every word is something that you choose, rather than something pre-set, imposed on you by a faith tradition or the law. With a celebrant wedding, you can have your ceremony anywhere, on any day of the week and at any time. Whatever your passions are in life, eg: travel, cocktails, dogs, dance music, we can find a place for them in your ceremony. If you have a faith, or traditions from your heritage or upbringing, we can reflect those too. The final result is a ceremony that feels completely right for you and is a highlight of your wedding day.

Can a wedding celebrant legally marry people?

No, unfortunately not. In England and Wales, only church ministers and registrars are licensed to legally marry people. Until the law changes (hopefully one day soon), in a celebrant wedding, the legal side of marriage is separate from the bespoke ceremony.

So, how does a celebrant wedding work?

With a celebrant wedding, the legal and personal ceremonies are separated. The legal ceremony could be minutes before your celebrant ceremony, or the day before or weeks or months beforehand. It might be in the UK or abroad. The legal ceremony must be arranged through a UK registration service or the foreign equivalent. After that, your celebrant wedding can take place wherever, whenever or however you choose. It’s wise to book a celebrant at the same time as your legal ceremony, as the most popular summer dates get booked up months, even years in advance.

If we have a legal and a bespoke ceremony, will it feel like we’re getting married twice?

No, it won’t feel like you are getting married twice because the two ceremonies are so different. For your legal marriage, you can book a full ceremony or just a legal signing at a UK registry office. For the legal signing, you will make a two simple legal declarations and sign the paperwork. You won’t exchange rings or the emotional, personal vows, which are included in a full ceremony. A legal signing often involves only immediate family and/or close friends. Although it feels significant, it is more of a simple legal undertaking than a celebratory wedding ceremony. If you marry abroad, naturally it will feel very different for that reason. There are several options and I am always happy to talk them over.

The wedding ceremony that I create for you will be different firstly because we get to know each other and secondly, because your ceremony is unique to you. No one will have the same, ever. You will be making your commitment in your own way. Everything is bespoke: from the moment you walk down the aisle (if you want to do that), to the confetti shower (if you’d like one of those).

What happens at a celebrant wedding?

What happens at a celebrant wedding is whatever you want. I offer you choices at every step. Many couples like to keep the familiar traditions of a wedding, walking down the aisle, the vows, exchange of rings, music and maybe a reading.

After that, there are lots of ways to modernise and personalise your ceremony. One of the most personal elements of a celebrant wedding is your love story. I will tell your story in a way that engages your guests. It will be authentic, romantic, funny and full of the love you share. I’ll talk to you about extra ideas, including symbolic rituals, such as a unity candle, handfasting or a sand ceremony. You might like the idea of live music and a singalong. We can include your friends and family, or the ceremony can just be the two of you. If you want to bring your dog, your baby, or your children – that’s great. Working with dogs and children is one of my specialities!

The ceremony will have your personalities stamped all over it. It might be quiet and romantic, or boisterous and full of laughter. There won’t be anything fake or boring about it; everything will mean something special to you.

If you have different nationalities, faiths, family or cultural traditions, these too can be woven into your ceremony.

Can we combine our civil and celebrant ceremonies?

It may be possible. Each registration district has its own guidelines. It’s always worth asking the question.

How long is a celebrant wedding ceremony?

My weddings tend to range from 30-50 minutes – typically the same as a church wedding and probably a little longer than a registration service wedding.

Who chooses a wedding celebrant?

All kinds of people choose a wedding celebrant, for a variety of different reasons. Some couples feel that neither a church, nor a civil wedding is right for them. This may be to do with their beliefs, or simply that they want to have a ceremony that really reflects who they are, led by a celebrant they have chosen. Some couples really want to be married in an unlicensed venue or a place that’s special to them, such as their family farm, or in their garden at home. There are couples who have already been legally married abroad and want to celebrate their wedding with family and friends in the UK. And there are those who want to celebrate their commitment, without being legally married. It’s all about choosing what feels right for you. And I hope it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that I welcome LGBTQ couples.

Is a celebrant wedding much more expensive?

No – it’s not. I am completely open about my fees upfront. I charge £700 for a bespoke wedding ceremony. The simplest legal signing and notices costs £127 in most districts. To find out what’s included in my fee, please click here: Beautiful Day Celebrant weddings.

For registration service prices in your area, visit your local council’s website. Here are Dorset Council’s wedding prices .

How do I find the right wedding celebrant for me?

It’s really important to find someone you like, who you feel understands you and your ideas for your wedding. You’ll see many different wedding celebrants, with their own personality and style. I hope my website gives a clear impression of the kind of person I am: friendly, professional and creative. I’m always happy to have a phone or zoom meeting with you, with no obligation. It’s a chance for you to think through the different options, ask me questions and feel confident that you are making the right choice for you.

You can find out more about my ceremonies on Instagram @alicendines and Facebook @alicendinescelebrant. I am listed on Hitched and The Celebrant Directory

If you’d like to know more, get in touch. I’d love to hear from you. alicen@beautifuldaycelebrant.com, or 07976 360202.

The post What is a wedding celebrant? And other frequently asked questions appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

What is the origin of handfasting?

The word comes from Old Norse ‘handfesta’ which means making a bond or striking a deal, by the joining of hands. The word became ‘handfasting’ in Old English, as spoken by the Anglo-Saxons and it evolved to mean the joining of hands in marriage.

Like other traditional practices, handfasting was absorbed into church ritual. These days, at a church wedding, you’ll still see a form of handfasting. After the couple has said their vows, the priest will wrap their hands together in the stole he/she’s wearing and say the traditional and rather wonderful words: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder”.

Who chooses a handfasting?

The answer is anyone and everyone – there are no boundaries of age, belief, style or tradition. You might think it’s just for pagans, or medieval re-enacters but a handfasting suits a stately home wedding as much as a festival wedding. If a handfasting appeals to you – go for it! There are so many ways to make it your own.

Handfasting for a wedding, commitment ceremony or renewal of vows

A handfasting can form part of a wedding, commitment ceremony or a renewal of vows. It can feature with or without a legal marriage or an exchange or rings.

Within a wedding, a handfasting adds an extra dimension to the sealing of your vows. Other members of the family or the bridal party can get involved.

For a commitment ceremony, handfasting is a significant, modern way to express your love, regardless of whether you ever want to be married. You don’t need to exchange rings – just bring your desire to be committed.

If you want to renew your vows, a handfasting enriches your original marriage ceremony, without taking away or replacing. We can use vows and colours from your wedding day, or do something that reflects who you are now. On a practical note, a handfasting allows you to keep your wedding rings on. That might not seem a big issue but speaking personally, after 20 years of marriage, my wedding ring is a lot snugger than it used to be!

How does a handfasting work?

At the heart of the ceremony, either during the marriage vows, or just after, the wedding couple will join hands. With this gesture, they are signalling their wish to be united in marriage. I wrap their clasped hands with the handfasting ribbons and say the blessing words. Afterwards, I slide the ribbons off, forming a knot and in this way, the couple has literally “tied the knot”.

And then everyone applauds!

What do you need for a handfasting?

Firstly, you don’t need to use ribbons – you can use cords, braids, lace or ribbons plaited together. If you have crafty or artistic friends who want to paint/knit/crochet/embroider your ribbons, that would be incredible wouldn’t it? Any kind of textile, or fabric which wraps around your hands will work well. You might use upholstery silk skeins, climbing ropes or even garden twine!

Whatever you choose, your ribbons need to be at least 1.5 metres in length. You can have as many ribbons as you like – often three are used but there are no rules. It looks good if the ribbons are similar width, which presents an even finish when they are tied. If you like, you can sew charms onto the ribbons to make them even more personal.

You can create the ribbons yourself, or you can hunt out specialist suppliers. I have a particular weakness for ribbon shops. The creative, colourful world of  VV Rouleaux  is like heaven to me!

If you prefer cords, Ceotha based in Edinburgh offers beautiful hand-crafted cords including the beach-themed ones below.

Can family and friends be part of a handfasting?

Yes – absolutely! I love it when people close to the couple want to get involved. You could ask your family or friends to choose your handfasting ribbons – whatever they feel expresses something about you as a couple. Alternatively, the ribbons can represent their wishes or blessings for your marriage. During the ceremony, they can be responsible for the ribbons and lay them over your arms. They may wish to say something about their choice. They can even tie the knot for you, with a bit of practice first!

Inspiration for your handfasting ribbons

You don’t need to be creative to make wonderful handfasting ribbons – you just need to decide on a theme for them. Start with the most important people and passions in your life and go from there. To help you get inspired, here are some things that your handfasting ribbons might express:

• Your past, present and future – represented in colours or different fabrics
• Your personalities eg yellow for happy, blue for thoughtful, red for passionate, silver for fun
• Promises for your marriage eg fur fabric for nurturing; elastic for trust; climbing cord for courage; gold ribbon for success and so on
• Shared passions eg a paw print ribbon for your love of your pets, a glittery one for your good times, the colours of your favourite sports team
• Your dreams, hopes and adventures
• The colours of your wedding scheme
• Special people – a ribbon for your children, grandchildren and so on
• Social, sports groups or faith communities that mean a lot to you
• Souvenirs from your travels, like these fabrics below, from Guatemala

There are so many ideas. Have fun thinking what would work perfectly for you! I will love helping you with suggestions too if I am your celebrant.

After the wedding and honeymoon is over, you can keep your ribbons in a memory box, frame them, or rework them into something else. I love the thought of the ribbons woven through a twisted willow wreath. I have a super-creative couple getting married next year and they are going to make a Welcome Home wreath with their handfasting ribbons. It will all be decorated with beads and charms, which sounds amazing. I can’t wait to see it!

Do check out my website for more information on weddings or you can find more wedding inspiration on Pinterest.

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Around 75% of us say that public speaking is our Number One Fear. Before I became a celebrant, I was a public speaking coach. I coached hundreds of people in business who were petrified of making a speech. The most extreme example was a man who was so scared of presenting, that he felt he was going to have a heart attack. To begin with, he gave his talk sitting down. By the end of the day he could stand and he went on to give a great, relaxed presentation.

Making a wedding speech isn’t easy, nor should it be. A good speech stands out when you can hear the effort that’s gone into it. It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just needs to be your own words – not Google’s. It takes time and effort to plan what you want to say and some skills in how to look and sound confident.

So, for starters, here are my top 5 Do’s and Don’ts of public speaking, based on years of watching hundreds of speeches and presentations, on very many diverse topics!

Top 5 don’ts of public speaking

The first on the list is by far the biggest offender!

1. Don’t procrastinate

Here’s the bad news: your wedding speech will not come to you by magic, hand-delivered by The Speech Fairy. Lots of us justify procrastination, saying that we are waiting for inspiration, or planning the speech in our head. In truth, all we are doing is putting off the inevitable business of getting started. This strategy really ramps up the pressure on ourselves. Time starts to fritter away and before we know it, the wedding day has dawned and our speech feels rushed and unfinished – like it’s been written in the pub the night before. Erm, funny that …! So please just start, even if it feels rubbish to begin with.

2. Don’t tell smutty or mean stories

There is a line over which you may not step in your wedding speech. The risks to your personal health and of ruining the day are completely real. Stories that came out at hen and stag nights are not fair game for wedding speeches. Also, Mums & Dads, think carefully about the stories you share about your child’s early years. Weddings are beautiful, highly-charged occasions and no one wants to a) be humiliated or b) hear something cringey about themselves or someone they love. That’s not to say you can’t tell jokes at the happy couple’s expense. No – that would be terrible. Just ask yourself: is it clean, is it funny and is it kind? Ok, kind-of kind. If you’re not sure where the line is, ask the most empathetic, sensible person you know.

Also, remember that you’re probably on camera, so whatever you say will play back to you at some point.

3. Don’t PANIC!!!

When we feel nervous, we produce adrenaline which can feel very uncomfortable. Often the symptoms (blushing, sweating, trembling etc) kick in exactly when we want to look calm and confident.

My tips are to avoid too much caffeine or alcohol; they are not your public-speaking friends. One coffee will perk you up but more could make you feel more anxious. Similarly with alcohol. A drunk speech is the ultimate no-no – unless you enjoy being mocked and/or chastised by your family and friends forever and ever.

4. Don’t use paper notes

When we feel nervous, our hands often shake. When our hands shake, so do the paper notes in our hands. It actually feels like paper notes have an extra-special way of shaking loudly and visibly, almost as if they want to make us feel more self-conscious.

I advise using cards or an ipad, with plenty of charge.  Powerpoint – unless it’s done ironically – is a bit naff because it will probably remind your audience of work. Also, with Powerpoint, it’s tempting to talk to the screen, which everyone will have already skim-read ahead of you anyway.

5. Don’t overthink

Yes, it’s a big moment and quite rightly, you want to do your best but actually your job is to make your audience feel good. Try to put your focus squarely on them and take the pressure off yourself as a performer. Your friends and family are primed to enjoy your speech. They’re happy, probably slightly squiffy and genuinely keen to laugh at any of your jokes.

Imagine being Boris Johnson at the EU Parliament. That is genuinely terrifying. Be ready to laugh at yourself with a daft line such as: ‘Did I actually just say that?’ or ‘I knew I shouldn’t have let my father in law/baby/dog write this speech.’

So, enough with the Don’ts, how can you smash your wedding speech? These are some of my favourite tips.

How to make a great wedding speech: the top 5 do’s

1. Begin early

It always shows when you’ve spent time on your speech, which in turn is a great compliment to your audience. To use a cookery metaphor: a good speech is a slow roast, not a stir fry. Get ahead, preferably weeks not days or hours beforehand. Jot down ideas and stories when they pop into your head. Your brain will reward you with a theme or an order to your ideas, as if by magic! Use mind-mapping to organise your thoughts and help you ditch ideas that won’t work or you don’t have time for.  This is a simple video description of mind-mapping for a speech on YouTube.

2. Share the stage

Create a double act – with someone you like! It makes great entertainment and can really boost your confidence. You’ll have someone to bounce ideas off, plus you get a breather when it’s not your turn to speak. The right person for your double act is someone who’s rock-solid reliable and a good complement to your character.

3. Learn to control your nerves

When nerves kick in, sometimes they rev up for hours (even days) ahead. That can be totally exhausting, so you need be able to control them. Nerves are caused by adrenaline, which centres on your brain and stomach, where it tends to cause the most trouble. To disperse adrenaline and feel more relaxed, take a brisk walk, run, sing, laugh, jump up. Take a few deep breaths in and out – with a very slow breath on the ‘out’ breath. Practice saying a positive affirmation to yourself eg my speech is great, it’s funny and heartfelt and I’m going to give it 100% – to boost your confidence.

4. Use good notes

It’s a lovely idea (but seriously misguided) to learn your speech by heart and expect to deliver it faultlessly on the day. Who needs the pressure?! It’s only legends like Jeremy Paxman and Stephen Fry who get away without notes. But I bet they have them somewhere ….

I really recommend you have legible notes that don’t depend on WiFi. Work from abbreviated notes, as opposed to a full script, which encourages you to stare at your notes. You can also easily lose your place in a full script. You need to know your speech really well, so you can look up at the audience and make eye contact, which looks super-confident.

5. Learn how to tell a joke

If there’s one thing you need to learn to make a great wedding speech, it’s how to tell a joke. Some people think they naturally can’t tell a joke but I know from experience that everyone can. If you watch comedians on YouTube, you’ll see the different ways they set up the joke. Pace, pauses, speaking clearly, eye contact and avoiding deviation, repetition and hesitation are all important. The most vital thing is to land the punchline and not garble or throw it away by looking at your notes. There’s a lot more I can tell you but watching the great comics is a good place to start.

Next steps

You can become really good at giving speeches and enjoy it, even if you hate it now. I am living proof! I used to dread standing up in front of people, now I love it. I would love to help you too. I will give you techniques including: how to organise your speech, how to tell a good story or joke and how to hit the right note  with your audience. I’ll tell you about body language and voice skills, which make you look confident – even before you feel it. Most importantly, I will show you how to speak confidently as your genuine self.

If you need help with a speech, or you’d like to be a better public speaker, please contact me. You will  be really impressed by the changes that you can achieve. The skills you learn will give you techniques and lasting self-confidence, to help you with the first of many brilliant speeches and talks.

If you’re still tempted to procrastinate, remember that there really is no Speech Fairy.

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There are 3 things that magnolia can never be a) memorable b) individual or c) inspiring. Nobody wants a magnolia wedding ceremony and yet, with civil ceremonies, it’s the same basic script every time. You have options A, B or C for the vows and personal promises, which most people would regard as the most special part of the ceremony. There are more choices of coffee in the average coffee shop!

It could be a lot better. It could be a lot more like you.

Civil ceremonies conducted by registrars, however lovely, are restricted by rules, standardisation and time. If you had the choice, wouldn’t you like to ditch all that and make every aspect of your wedding ceremony as special as the rest of your day? Well you can.

Enter the wedding celebrant! However you want your wedding ceremony to be, I will lavish time and creativity on it, to ensure it’s colourful, memorable and personal. It won’t be bland, that’s a guarantee.

You might hanker for relaxation – shades of ice creams and beach huts. You might wish for old romance in dove greys, chalky pinks and lavenders. Perhaps you’re after a shot of energy with the brights – the cobalt blues and emerald greens, or the luxuriant reds, plums and golds. You get the picture.

I love colour from the palest neutrals to the inkiest charcoals and if you do too, here are 10 ways to make sure your wedding is anything but magnolia. As one groom Dave said to me recently, “Your ideas are amazing!” He meant it in a good way (!) and I hope you feel inspired.

10 colour pops for your wedding ceremony

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• Does the venue have colours you love? Highlight those. Is it a blank canvas? Get creative! It’s worth considering your colour scheme at the enquiry stage, because depending on how much time and money you have to spend, what’s already there might be a big help – or not.
• Good lighting makes a big impact – a little neon goes a long way and can look really cool as do all the amazing string lights out there.
• Bring your favourite colours into extra rituals such as ribbons for a handfasting, unity candle, or a cocktail ceremony.
• Create a rainbow of promises, with every colour as special quality you wish to bring into your marriage. Traditional interpretations are red for energy; orange for creativity; yellow for happiness, green for growth, blue for trust, indigo for spirituality and violet for wisdom but why not just make up your own.
• Choose a colourful song that everyone can sing along to. Here’s just a few that work brilliantly: 99 Red Balloons by Nena; Raspberry Beret by Prince; Yellow Submarine by The Beatles; Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison; Mr Blue Sky by ELO.
• Create a colourful tree for guests to write their wish for your new life. There are many examples on Pinterest – search for ‘tree of wishes’ or ‘thankful tree’ which is for Thanksgiving actually but has lovely ideas.
• Link the senses and match your colours to lovely scents such as lavender, rose, mint, citrus, sandalwood – to make your colour palette work on an extra level.
• Colourpop your favours – macarons come in amazing colours and also vintage sweets, for example.
• On a purely visual level, darker and paler versions of the same colour work well as contrasts and stop your scheme getting too much. You can use a paint chart for inspiration.
• Add a shot of colour into your outfit: shoes, nail colour or hair jewellery are great candidates. Or go the whole way. One of my favourite examples was the bride who wore an emerald green sheer cloak over a blue velvet dress. It was stunning.

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Contact me

Whatever you decide, have what you want and I hope it’s a beautiful day!

If you’d like to discuss your wedding ceremony with me, please contact me for more information and to find out my availability.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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It’s the relationships and stories that star in the ceremonies I lead – be it a large, formal wedding or a small, intimate funeral. In the end, we are always celebrating Love and re-connecting with each other through ceremony, which is so vital in our fast-paced world. So, what can you expect from me as your wedding or funeral celebrant? A beautiful, bespoke ceremony, created by me in collaboration with you, delivered with warmth and professionalism. Every single ceremony is special and unique to me. It may be simple but never basic; elaborate but never excessive; creative but never glib.

The big days in our lives don’t come along very often, so it’s unusual for anyone to be 100% clear about what kind of ceremony they would like. I help you with that. Knowing what works and having an instinct for the flow of a ceremony all come from experience. Sometimes I find it hard to put into words why one reading feels better first or second. It’s usually to do with the flow and meaning of the ceremony. Sometimes it just feels better that way!

Whenever possible, I like to meet people in person before writing any kind of ceremony. By the end of that first meeting, I hope that you will have confidence in me – that I’ve understood what you want and that I’ll create a personal, memorable ceremony for you.

HOW TO CHOOSE A CELEBRANT

When you choose a celebrant, getting on well together and trusting them with your special day is so important. Celebrants come in all shapes and sizes but their personality and values are the x-factor.

I’m very calm and I’d like to help you feel calm, so you can be ‘in the moment’ on the day of the ceremony. I have a good sense of humour – in keeping with the occasion. Tuning into people’s feelings is an essential quality of an experienced celebrant. Whatever you’re feeling: excited, nervous, happy or sad – I will lead the ceremony we’ve planned and created together, exactly as you hoped.

Credit: Dawn Potter

I’m very grateful to get this kind of feedback:

“Thank you most sincerely for the beautiful service you gave for Jim on Friday. Everyone has said how lovely it was. You fulfilled my wishes completely making it all about him with humour and sensitivity. I was very sad but I know he would have been very happy with everything.”

“We just wanted to say a bit thank you for the way you conducted our wedding. You kept us all giggling and created a wonderful and relaxed ceremony and atmosphere which was exactly what we both wanted. Thank you for helping to make our day so very special.”

Kind words like this make me very happy.

For more information on the ceremonies I lead, please look at the pages on my website for weddings or renewals of vows or funerals

It would be a huge privilege to be your celebrant. Please Contact me if you’d like to talk about a special day that’s coming up for you.

The post What to expect from me as your celebrant appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.