A unity candle ceremony is a wedding ritual which uses lighted candles to symbolise the uniting of a couple in marriage. It’s one of my favourite symbolic rituals, because it’s simple, meaningful and unpretentious. It adds an extra dimension to a wedding ceremony, it looks beautiful and everyone gets it.

It’s typically used for the wedding couple, but it can represent the uniting of the couple’s two families through marriage. I also like to use it to include step-children into a second marriage. The unity candle, with individual candles for all the children, expresses the children’s importance within the new family: all together, equally loved and special.

I might also offer a unity candle as part of a celebration of life, to express how the person who has died is still at the heart of the family, loved and remembered.

Why candles?

There’s something special about a candle. Its flickering flame and subtle colours of yellow, orange and blue draw us in. A candle is an ancient symbol of dispelling darkness or negative energy and bringing in light, or positive energy. A candle radiates warmth and calm. Candles are often associated with love and romance. What would a romantic dinner for two be without a candle? Some people worry that candles are a bit ‘churchy’ for them, but in a modern ceremony context, they really aren’t.

And the last reason I like it, is because a unity candle has its own life, beyond your special day. You can light it again on your wedding anniversary, family reunions Christmas Day (or your equivalent celebration), or birthdays. It will always remind you of the first moment you lit it and the significance of that day. It’s a lovely memory when things are going well, and it might be a good visual ‘reset’, when you’re having a bad day/getting on each other’s nerves!!

How does the ceremony work?

In a wedding ceremony, I feel the best moment for a unity candle ceremony is after the vows and the exchange of rings. It’s meaningful at this point, as we’re looking ahead to the future.

I explain to your guests that you have chosen a unity candle ceremony to symbolise your combined personalities, hopes and intentions for your marriage. For most people, this will be new to them and they won’t have seen it before, so I’m careful to make sure they feel included.

I’ll invite you to light your individual candles and then after I’ve said some blessing words that I’ve written for you personally, you’ll light the unity candle together. It can be done in a quiet, reflective way, or in a spirit of happiness and celebration, depending on the atmosphere you want to create.

For a celebration of life, I would want to light the candle at the beginning, as a visual reminder that the person who has died, is always with us, in memory, or in spirit – according to your beliefs.

What do you need for a unity candle ceremony?

You will need two or more smaller candles to symbolise you as a couple, or more, if you’re including other family members. You’ll also need one large unity pillar candle. The unity candle needs to be on a stand; the smaller candles can be in candlesticks, or you just want the unity candle to burn, you can just extinguish the dinner candles and lay them down. It does look good having them all burning together, but it’s your choice.

You can find some beautiful candles on Etsy. Some have natural themes, some are personalised, there are carved styles, minimalist styles and super-swanky- bling styles.

Things to bear in mind

A ritual should always feel right for you and how you are. Don’t have one for the sake of it. The unity candle ceremony is very versatile, but it’s not going to be right for everyone.

Candles are hopeless outside, unless you are using a hurricane lamp. Even so, the slightest gust of wind could blow them out, which is not the symbolism we’re looking for! Bright sunshine also makes the unity candle ceremony hard to see and therefore less effective. For an outdoor summer wedding ritual, I’d probably suggest a sand ceremony, or a hand-fasting instead.

If children are involved, you need some kind of candle drip protectors or guards, to stop hot wax spilling on their hands. Small children obviously need close supervision.

Check that your venue is OK with candles, especially if it’s a historic building. I haven’t had a problem yet, but it’s best to check.

Where to buy:

Etsy

AgaMakesCandles

Susabellas

LanaCarvedCandles

Candles2Cherish

That’s probably everything you need to know about a unity candle ceremony. If you didn’t know what one was, I hope I’ve enlightened you (haha) and inspired you to consider having one in your wedding ceremony or celebration.

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It’s not news that wedding planning in a pandemic is tricky.  It feels like being in a weird virtual wedding waiting room, where people keep coming in, but no one ever leaves. Most couples have had to review their wedding plans in some way. If you’ve postponed your wedding already, you know all about the joys of rescheduling. If you’re newly engaged, you may find it difficult to know where to start.

What can I say to help, as we wait for normality to return, sitting socially distanced, on our sanitised chairs, with the fragrance of alcohol gel filling the air …

I’d like to offer you my home-grown planning tool, to help you prioritise your wedding and make some contingency plans.

Contingency plans for peace of mind

Whatever your situation, being crystal clear on your priorities will help you. The results will either confirm what you know, or give you some new insights. They will give you more peace of mind and a greater sense of control. I think we all need plenty of those right now!

What are your wedding Must-Haves?

When planning a ceremony, a speech, or any event in my life, I class everything as one of these:

• Must Have (something I can’t/won’t budge on)
• Nice to Have (I really love this)
• Could Have, or Not (I could limit/ditch this)

For example, having your complete wedding guest list could be your must-have. You’d rather postpone the wedding than uninvite people. Alternatively, maybe the date is your must-have. You want to marry asap, or on a certain date, even if it means fewer guests. Maybe the venue is your must-have. It’s your dream venue, which works brilliantly for your guests too. Maybe you don’t know what your must-haves are yet. Now’s a good time to decide.

Make a list of the main elements of your wedding eg indoor/outdoor, type of ceremony and officiant/celebrant, the number of guests, what restrictions you will/won’t accept, venue, date, budget, entertainment, catering, clothing and so on. Next, rank each one as a Must-Have, Nice to Have, or Could Have.

There are so many tempting choices in the world of weddings. It seems like everything is a Must Have, but using this method, you’ll discover the difference. When you have zoned in on your Must Haves, they are everything you really, really want for your wedding day. This clears your mind wonderfully, and your Nice to Haves and Could Haves fall nicely into line.

Make Contingency Plans A, Plan B, and even Plan C

Your first choice and favourite wedding plan is your Plan A. It has all your Must Haves and a good selection of your Nice to Haves. The Could Haves will also be making an appearance.

Let’s hope you get your Plan A, but be ready with a killer Plan B – and possibly even a bonus Plan C. These will give you peace of mind, and options.

Please note: if this sounds difficult or worrying, remember that British people are naturally very good at this. We have an all-scenarios-covered checklist just to go to the beach. So, whether you’re British, or are marrying here, you’re covered. Don’t worry.

You can develop your Plans A, B, C as a written-out scenario. For example: Plan A is that we get married outdoors in the Mystic Hollow, in September with 100 guests. There will be no restrictions on numbers, catering and dancing. Plan B is we get married in Swish House, in December with 50 guests and a socially distanced dinner and no dancing. Plan C, we switch back to Mystic Hollow in September the following year, with our original plan for 100 guests. You could write each element of your wedding on a flashcard and lay them out in different combinations. Colour code your Must Haves – do whatever makes sense to you.

You may discover that no plan is absolutely perfect. Wedding planning in a pandemic is probably going to throw a couple of things off course. The main thing is your Must Haves. Do you still have them?

With a good slug of flexibility and good humour, you’ll get there. In the end, your biggest and best Must Have is your partner. You WILL get married, even if it’s not exactly following your Plan A. Keep looking for the unexpected silver linings that changes bring. I know how cheesy that sounds but it’s true.

On a practical note, if you’d like more information on celebrant weddings, and how they can complement your legal wedding, and what’s the difference, check out my Frequently Asked Questions

The latest info on legal weddings

If you’re looking for the latest info on legal weddings in Dorset, Devon and Somerset from the respective Registration Services, check out these links.

Dorset

Devon

Somerset

Keep talking to people, and reach out for support and advice. Just don’t get like this ….!

If you need any help or a friendly chat, I’ll be in my virtual wedding waiting room.

Contact me

The post Wedding planning in a pandemic appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

What does a wedding celebrant do?

A wedding celebrant creates a highly-personalised wedding ceremony,  tailored to a couple’s personalities and the style of their wedding day. The ceremony is crafted – like a made-to-measure suit, or a bespoke wedding dress. I spend time with you, getting to know you, understanding the vibe you want to create on your wedding day, so the ceremony fits you both perfectly.

What’s different about a celebrant wedding?

A celebrant wedding is the most free and flexible ceremony you can imagine. Every word is something that you choose, rather than something pre-set, imposed on you by a faith tradition or the law. With a celebrant wedding, you can have your ceremony anywhere, on any day of the week and at any time. Whatever your passions are in life, eg: travel, cocktails, dogs, dance music, we can find a place for them in your ceremony. If you have a faith, or traditions from your heritage or upbringing, we can reflect those too. The final result is a ceremony that feels completely right for you and is a highlight of your wedding day.

Can a wedding celebrant legally marry people?

No, unfortunately not. In England and Wales, only church ministers and registrars are licensed to legally marry people. Until the law changes (hopefully one day soon), in a celebrant wedding, the legal side of marriage is separate from the bespoke ceremony.

So, how does a celebrant wedding work?

With a celebrant wedding, the legal and personal ceremonies are separated. The legal ceremony could be minutes before your celebrant ceremony, or the day before or weeks or months beforehand. It might be in the UK or abroad. The legal ceremony must be arranged through a UK registration service or the foreign equivalent. After that, your celebrant wedding can take place wherever, whenever or however you choose. It’s wise to book a celebrant at the same time as your legal ceremony, as the most popular summer dates get booked up months, even years in advance.

If we have a legal and a bespoke ceremony, will it feel like we’re getting married twice?

No, it won’t feel like you are getting married twice because the two ceremonies are so different. For your legal marriage, you can book a full ceremony or just a legal signing at a UK registry office. For the legal signing, you will make a two simple legal declarations and sign the paperwork. You won’t exchange rings or the emotional, personal vows, which are included in a full ceremony. A legal signing often involves only immediate family and/or close friends. Although it feels significant, it is more of a simple legal undertaking than a celebratory wedding ceremony. If you marry abroad, naturally it will feel very different for that reason. There are several options and I am always happy to talk them over.

The wedding ceremony that I create for you will be different firstly because we get to know each other and secondly, because your ceremony is unique to you. No one will have the same, ever. You will be making your commitment in your own way. Everything is bespoke: from the moment you walk down the aisle (if you want to do that), to the confetti shower (if you’d like one of those).

What happens at a celebrant wedding?

What happens at a celebrant wedding is whatever you want. I offer you choices at every step. Many couples like to keep the familiar traditions of a wedding, walking down the aisle, the vows, exchange of rings, music and maybe a reading.

After that, there are lots of ways to modernise and personalise your ceremony. One of the most personal elements of a celebrant wedding is your love story. I will tell your story in a way that engages your guests. It will be authentic, romantic, funny and full of the love you share. I’ll talk to you about extra ideas, including symbolic rituals, such as a unity candle, handfasting or a sand ceremony. You might like the idea of live music and a singalong. We can include your friends and family, or the ceremony can just be the two of you. If you want to bring your dog, your baby, or your children – that’s great. Working with dogs and children is one of my specialities!

The ceremony will have your personalities stamped all over it. It might be quiet and romantic, or boisterous and full of laughter. There won’t be anything fake or boring about it; everything will mean something special to you.

If you have different nationalities, faiths, family or cultural traditions, these too can be woven into your ceremony.

Can we combine our civil and celebrant ceremonies?

It may be possible. Each registration district has its own guidelines. It’s always worth asking the question.

How long is a celebrant wedding ceremony?

My weddings tend to range from 30-50 minutes – typically the same as a church wedding and probably a little longer than a registration service wedding.

Who chooses a wedding celebrant?

All kinds of people choose a wedding celebrant, for a variety of different reasons. Some couples feel that neither a church, nor a civil wedding is right for them. This may be to do with their beliefs, or simply that they want to have a ceremony that really reflects who they are, led by a celebrant they have chosen. Some couples really want to be married in an unlicensed venue or a place that’s special to them, such as their family farm, or in their garden at home. There are couples who have already been legally married abroad and want to celebrate their wedding with family and friends in the UK. And there are those who want to celebrate their commitment, without being legally married. It’s all about choosing what feels right for you. And I hope it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that I welcome LGBTQ couples.

Is a celebrant wedding much more expensive?

No – it’s not. I am completely open about my fees upfront. I charge £700 for a bespoke wedding ceremony. The simplest legal signing and notices costs £127 in most districts. To find out what’s included in my fee, please click here: Beautiful Day Celebrant weddings.

For registration service prices in your area, visit your local council’s website. Here are Dorset Council’s wedding prices .

How do I find the right wedding celebrant for me?

It’s really important to find someone you like, who you feel understands you and your ideas for your wedding. You’ll see many different wedding celebrants, with their own personality and style. I hope my website gives a clear impression of the kind of person I am: friendly, professional and creative. I’m always happy to have a phone or zoom meeting with you, with no obligation. It’s a chance for you to think through the different options, ask me questions and feel confident that you are making the right choice for you.

You can find out more about my ceremonies on Instagram @alicendines and Facebook @alicendinescelebrant. I am listed on Hitched and The Celebrant Directory

If you’d like to know more, get in touch. I’d love to hear from you. alicen@beautifuldaycelebrant.com, or 07976 360202.

The post What is a wedding celebrant? And other frequently asked questions appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

What is the origin of handfasting?

The word comes from Old Norse ‘handfesta’ which means making a bond or striking a deal, by the joining of hands. The word became ‘handfasting’ in Old English, as spoken by the Anglo-Saxons and it evolved to mean the joining of hands in marriage.

Like other traditional practices, handfasting was absorbed into church ritual. These days, at a church wedding, you’ll still see a form of handfasting. After the couple has said their vows, the priest will wrap their hands together in the stole he/she’s wearing and say the traditional and rather wonderful words: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder”.

Who chooses a handfasting?

The answer is anyone and everyone – there are no boundaries of age, belief, style or tradition. You might think it’s just for pagans, or medieval re-enacters but a handfasting suits a stately home wedding as much as a festival wedding. If a handfasting appeals to you – go for it! There are so many ways to make it your own.

Handfasting for a wedding, commitment ceremony or renewal of vows

A handfasting can form part of a wedding, commitment ceremony or a renewal of vows. It can feature with or without a legal marriage or an exchange or rings.

Within a wedding, a handfasting adds an extra dimension to the sealing of your vows. Other members of the family or the bridal party can get involved.

For a commitment ceremony, handfasting is a significant, modern way to express your love, regardless of whether you ever want to be married. You don’t need to exchange rings – just bring your desire to be committed.

If you want to renew your vows, a handfasting enriches your original marriage ceremony, without taking away or replacing. We can use vows and colours from your wedding day, or do something that reflects who you are now. On a practical note, a handfasting allows you to keep your wedding rings on. That might not seem a big issue but speaking personally, after 20 years of marriage, my wedding ring is a lot snugger than it used to be!

How does a handfasting work?

At the heart of the ceremony, either during the marriage vows, or just after, the wedding couple will join hands. With this gesture, they are signalling their wish to be united in marriage. I wrap their clasped hands with the handfasting ribbons and say the blessing words. Afterwards, I slide the ribbons off, forming a knot and in this way, the couple has literally “tied the knot”.

And then everyone applauds!

What do you need for a handfasting?

Firstly, you don’t need to use ribbons – you can use cords, braids, lace or ribbons plaited together. If you have crafty or artistic friends who want to paint/knit/crochet/embroider your ribbons, that would be incredible wouldn’t it? Any kind of textile, or fabric which wraps around your hands will work well. You might use upholstery silk skeins, climbing ropes or even garden twine!

Whatever you choose, your ribbons need to be at least 1.5 metres in length. You can have as many ribbons as you like – often three are used but there are no rules. It looks good if the ribbons are similar width, which presents an even finish when they are tied. If you like, you can sew charms onto the ribbons to make them even more personal.

You can create the ribbons yourself, or you can hunt out specialist suppliers. I have a particular weakness for ribbon shops. The creative, colourful world of  VV Rouleaux  is like heaven to me!

If you prefer cords, Ceotha based in Edinburgh offers beautiful hand-crafted cords including the beach-themed ones below.

Can family and friends be part of a handfasting?

Yes – absolutely! I love it when people close to the couple want to get involved. You could ask your family or friends to choose your handfasting ribbons – whatever they feel expresses something about you as a couple. Alternatively, the ribbons can represent their wishes or blessings for your marriage. During the ceremony, they can be responsible for the ribbons and lay them over your arms. They may wish to say something about their choice. They can even tie the knot for you, with a bit of practice first!

Inspiration for your handfasting ribbons

You don’t need to be creative to make wonderful handfasting ribbons – you just need to decide on a theme for them. Start with the most important people and passions in your life and go from there. To help you get inspired, here are some things that your handfasting ribbons might express:

• Your past, present and future – represented in colours or different fabrics
• Your personalities eg yellow for happy, blue for thoughtful, red for passionate, silver for fun
• Promises for your marriage eg fur fabric for nurturing; elastic for trust; climbing cord for courage; gold ribbon for success and so on
• Shared passions eg a paw print ribbon for your love of your pets, a glittery one for your good times, the colours of your favourite sports team
• Your dreams, hopes and adventures
• The colours of your wedding scheme
• Special people – a ribbon for your children, grandchildren and so on
• Social, sports groups or faith communities that mean a lot to you
• Souvenirs from your travels, like these fabrics below, from Guatemala

There are so many ideas. Have fun thinking what would work perfectly for you! I will love helping you with suggestions too if I am your celebrant.

After the wedding and honeymoon is over, you can keep your ribbons in a memory box, frame them, or rework them into something else. I love the thought of the ribbons woven through a twisted willow wreath. I have a super-creative couple getting married next year and they are going to make a Welcome Home wreath with their handfasting ribbons. It will all be decorated with beads and charms, which sounds amazing. I can’t wait to see it!

Do check out my website for more information on weddings or you can find more wedding inspiration on Pinterest.

The post What is a handfasting? appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

There are 3 things that magnolia can never be a) memorable b) individual or c) inspiring. Nobody wants a magnolia wedding ceremony and yet, with civil ceremonies, it’s the same basic script every time. You have options A, B or C for the vows and personal promises, which most people would regard as the most special part of the ceremony. There are more choices of coffee in the average coffee shop!

It could be a lot better. It could be a lot more like you.

Civil ceremonies conducted by registrars, however lovely, are restricted by rules, standardisation and time. If you had the choice, wouldn’t you like to ditch all that and make every aspect of your wedding ceremony as special as the rest of your day? Well you can.

Enter the wedding celebrant! However you want your wedding ceremony to be, I will lavish time and creativity on it, to ensure it’s colourful, memorable and personal. It won’t be bland, that’s a guarantee.

You might hanker for relaxation – shades of ice creams and beach huts. You might wish for old romance in dove greys, chalky pinks and lavenders. Perhaps you’re after a shot of energy with the brights – the cobalt blues and emerald greens, or the luxuriant reds, plums and golds. You get the picture.

I love colour from the palest neutrals to the inkiest charcoals and if you do too, here are 10 ways to make sure your wedding is anything but magnolia. As one groom Dave said to me recently, “Your ideas are amazing!” He meant it in a good way (!) and I hope you feel inspired.

10 colour pops for your wedding ceremony

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• Does the venue have colours you love? Highlight those. Is it a blank canvas? Get creative! It’s worth considering your colour scheme at the enquiry stage, because depending on how much time and money you have to spend, what’s already there might be a big help – or not.
• Good lighting makes a big impact – a little neon goes a long way and can look really cool as do all the amazing string lights out there.
• Bring your favourite colours into extra rituals such as ribbons for a handfasting, unity candle, or a cocktail ceremony.
• Create a rainbow of promises, with every colour as special quality you wish to bring into your marriage. Traditional interpretations are red for energy; orange for creativity; yellow for happiness, green for growth, blue for trust, indigo for spirituality and violet for wisdom but why not just make up your own.
• Choose a colourful song that everyone can sing along to. Here’s just a few that work brilliantly: 99 Red Balloons by Nena; Raspberry Beret by Prince; Yellow Submarine by The Beatles; Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison; Mr Blue Sky by ELO.
• Create a colourful tree for guests to write their wish for your new life. There are many examples on Pinterest – search for ‘tree of wishes’ or ‘thankful tree’ which is for Thanksgiving actually but has lovely ideas.
• Link the senses and match your colours to lovely scents such as lavender, rose, mint, citrus, sandalwood – to make your colour palette work on an extra level.
• Colourpop your favours – macarons come in amazing colours and also vintage sweets, for example.
• On a purely visual level, darker and paler versions of the same colour work well as contrasts and stop your scheme getting too much. You can use a paint chart for inspiration.
• Add a shot of colour into your outfit: shoes, nail colour or hair jewellery are great candidates. Or go the whole way. One of my favourite examples was the bride who wore an emerald green sheer cloak over a blue velvet dress. It was stunning.

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Contact me

Whatever you decide, have what you want and I hope it’s a beautiful day!

If you’d like to discuss your wedding ceremony with me, please contact me for more information and to find out my availability.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

The post Colour-pop your wedding with a bespoke ceremony appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

It’s the relationships and stories that star in the ceremonies I lead – be it a large, formal wedding or a small, intimate funeral. In the end, we are always celebrating Love and re-connecting with each other through ceremony, which is so vital in our fast-paced world. So, what can you expect from me as your wedding or funeral celebrant? A beautiful, bespoke ceremony, created by me in collaboration with you, delivered with warmth and professionalism. Every single ceremony is special and unique to me. It may be simple but never basic; elaborate but never excessive; creative but never glib.

The big days in our lives don’t come along very often, so it’s unusual for anyone to be 100% clear about what kind of ceremony they would like. I help you with that. Knowing what works and having an instinct for the flow of a ceremony all come from experience. Sometimes I find it hard to put into words why one reading feels better first or second. It’s usually to do with the flow and meaning of the ceremony. Sometimes it just feels better that way!

Whenever possible, I like to meet people in person before writing any kind of ceremony. By the end of that first meeting, I hope that you will have confidence in me – that I’ve understood what you want and that I’ll create a personal, memorable ceremony for you.

HOW TO CHOOSE A CELEBRANT

When you choose a celebrant, getting on well together and trusting them with your special day is so important. Celebrants come in all shapes and sizes but their personality and values are the x-factor.

I’m very calm and I’d like to help you feel calm, so you can be ‘in the moment’ on the day of the ceremony. I have a good sense of humour – in keeping with the occasion. Tuning into people’s feelings is an essential quality of an experienced celebrant. Whatever you’re feeling: excited, nervous, happy or sad – I will lead the ceremony we’ve planned and created together, exactly as you hoped.

Credit: Dawn Potter

I’m very grateful to get this kind of feedback:

“Thank you most sincerely for the beautiful service you gave for Jim on Friday. Everyone has said how lovely it was. You fulfilled my wishes completely making it all about him with humour and sensitivity. I was very sad but I know he would have been very happy with everything.”

“We just wanted to say a bit thank you for the way you conducted our wedding. You kept us all giggling and created a wonderful and relaxed ceremony and atmosphere which was exactly what we both wanted. Thank you for helping to make our day so very special.”

Kind words like this make me very happy.

For more information on the ceremonies I lead, please look at the pages on my website for weddings or renewals of vows or funerals

It would be a huge privilege to be your celebrant. Please Contact me if you’d like to talk about a special day that’s coming up for you.

The post What to expect from me as your celebrant appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.