If I’m your your wedding celebrant, you’ll have this support as standard – plus loads more, but here are some tips to get you going.

Fear not the blank page: inspiration will come!

Most people panic at the sight of a blank screen and have a mortal fear of the blank page. They (quite naturally) think that all the answers will be there for them on Google/social media.

STOP! The problem with Google/social media is that you’ll be so overwhelmed with options, you’ll have no confidence in your own ideas. Your own ideas are always the best ideas. It’s your wedding.

Remember that old trick about not thinking about pink elephants, which makes you only think about pink elephants? Google/social media give you pink elephants, green monkeys,  blue parrots – the whole safari.

Forget about everyone else’s vows, what do YOU want to say to your partner?

Be your own wordsmith

Some people think they’re no good with words and that therefore their wedding vows won’t be any good either. Not true. Your partner loves you as you are, and if your wedding vows sound like you, that’s perfect. I’m not just indulging you here – it’s true. When you use your own normal words and expressions, your vows will sound right. ‘Right’ means genuine, personal and original, which is exactly what your wedding ceremony should be.

Pair up your wedding vows

My final tip is all about pairing up your wedding vows, so you and your partner are both happy with them. Think about matching the length and the tone. You can choose to say the same thing, or your might personalise them. You could do something completely different from each other. Your vows should be serious and heartfelt, but you can add humour if that feels right.

Whatever else you say … remember to say ‘I love you’!!

Go for it!

And finally – start early, don’t procrastinate. You’ll feel great when your vows are done and they will be ‘wower’ with the extra time and effort you put in. Have fun with them and be proud of your vows.

Need more help? Get in touch – I’d love to help you create your perfect wedding. For more info on my bespoke ceremonies, take a look at my weddings page

If you love Xinmei and Josh’s wedding photo, check out their photographer White Stag Wedding Photography

The post All the wows with your vows! How to write your own wedding vows appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

I’m no politician, so I’ll tell you straight that my weddings cost £700. And now, can I tell you why a wedding celebrant is worth every penny, and what you’ll get for your money. You’re getting a beautiful, bespoke wedding ceremony, AND you’re getting something money can’t buy. In a nutshell, it’s a unique, richer more ‘wow!’ experience of a wedding ceremony that no one will have ever seen before.

Why have a wedding celebrant?

Weddings are full of beautiful things, but how many tug on the heartstrings like the moment you exchange your vows? This is the emotional heart of the day. It’s the bit everyone looks forward to, like the jammy heart in a jammy dodger biscuit. A celebrant frames that moment with a beautiful ceremony, full of your personality, meaning and joy.  It’s much more than just words: it’s a shared feeling of connection. Your guests get a deeper insight into your your world, and hear your love story told in a brilliant, original way.  And all that – even before we get to your vows!

So, let me tell you what I invest in your wedding.

What’s included in my ceremony fee?

My fee is based on the complete time we work together, not just the length of the ceremony. I spend time getting to know you, and then researching, thinking, creating, writing and delivering your ceremony. That’s the same process, whether your wedding is 30 minutes or 45 minutes long.

We get to know each other via face to face meetings, a couple of thought-provoking questionnaires, emails, phone calls and texts. I ask you questions; you ask me questions… like this one for a couple who met at Pizza Hut:

I give you my creative ideas, and my ability to upscale your ideas and make them happen, as you imagine. I have years of professional and creative copywriting experience, so I can express your thoughts, in a way that sounds natural and right for you. You get my degree in English Literature, which helps me find the kind of readings you might like, plus you get my nerdy obsession with interesting words.

You get my membership of celebrant networks, which gives me training and keeps my work fresh. You get my years as a registrar, to help you navigate the English legal marriage system. You get my industry contacts, to help you find the best suppliers of things like candles and ribbons.

You get my shiny new PA system and my fancy presentation script in a smart box. And you get free mileage 20 miles outside my home town of Bridport.

AND of course, you get ME – all the way from the booking stage to when you become brand new newlyweds. I’m here to muse with you, help you, celebrate with you, empathise and commiserate with you if this get stressful. I’m a sounding board for your thoughts, and someone you can turn to for wedding advice. I’m like a professional wedding buddy; we’ll have lots of chats and laughs in the run-up to your big day.

And when that day dawns, I’m very calm. I’ll help you with nerves, wobbly legs, a last-minute needs for water and tissues, the label that sticks out, the stray thread on your dress, the guest that needs a chair, or a chat. I’ll take a photo, move a table – whatever needs doing. And I’ll deliver your ceremony confidently and engagingly. When I look out and see your friends and family smiling at you, laughing at a bit of your love story, or shedding a sneaky tear – that makes me happy.

Together, we’ll have created something really special and wonderful memories you’ll keep forever. Everyone will enjoy it and talk about it. That’s the kind of wedding I offer. Is it your kind of wedding too?

Head over to my Weddings page to find out more.

The post How much does a wedding celebrant cost? appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

A unity candle ceremony is a wedding ritual which uses lighted candles to symbolise the uniting of a couple in marriage. It’s one of my favourite symbolic rituals, because it’s simple, meaningful and unpretentious. It adds an extra dimension to a wedding ceremony, it looks beautiful and everyone gets it.

It’s typically used for the wedding couple, but it can represent the uniting of the couple’s two families through marriage. I also like to use it to include step-children into a second marriage. The unity candle, with individual candles for all the children, expresses the children’s importance within the new family: all together, equally loved and special.

I might also offer a unity candle as part of a celebration of life, to express how the person who has died is still at the heart of the family, loved and remembered.

Why candles?

There’s something special about a candle. Its flickering flame and subtle colours of yellow, orange and blue draw us in. A candle is an ancient symbol of dispelling darkness or negative energy and bringing in light, or positive energy. A candle radiates warmth and calm. Candles are often associated with love and romance. What would a romantic dinner for two be without a candle? Some people worry that candles are a bit ‘churchy’ for them, but in a modern ceremony context, they really aren’t.

And the last reason I like it, is because a unity candle has its own life, beyond your special day. You can light it again on your wedding anniversary, family reunions Christmas Day (or your equivalent celebration), or birthdays. It will always remind you of the first moment you lit it and the significance of that day. It’s a lovely memory when things are going well, and it might be a good visual ‘reset’, when you’re having a bad day/getting on each other’s nerves!!

How does the ceremony work?

In a wedding ceremony, I feel the best moment for a unity candle ceremony is after the vows and the exchange of rings. It’s meaningful at this point, as we’re looking ahead to the future.

I explain to your guests that you have chosen a unity candle ceremony to symbolise your combined personalities, hopes and intentions for your marriage. For most people, this will be new to them and they won’t have seen it before, so I’m careful to make sure they feel included.

I’ll invite you to light your individual candles and then after I’ve said some blessing words that I’ve written for you personally, you’ll light the unity candle together. It can be done in a quiet, reflective way, or in a spirit of happiness and celebration, depending on the atmosphere you want to create.

For a celebration of life, I would want to light the candle at the beginning, as a visual reminder that the person who has died, is always with us, in memory, or in spirit – according to your beliefs.

What do you need for a unity candle ceremony?

You will need two or more smaller candles to symbolise you as a couple, or more, if you’re including other family members. You’ll also need one large unity pillar candle. The unity candle needs to be on a stand; the smaller candles can be in candlesticks, or you just want the unity candle to burn, you can just extinguish the dinner candles and lay them down. It does look good having them all burning together, but it’s your choice.

You can find some beautiful candles on Etsy. Some have natural themes, some are personalised, there are carved styles, minimalist styles and super-swanky- bling styles.

Things to bear in mind

A ritual should always feel right for you and how you are. Don’t have one for the sake of it. The unity candle ceremony is very versatile, but it’s not going to be right for everyone.

Candles are hopeless outside, unless you are using a hurricane lamp. Even so, the slightest gust of wind could blow them out, which is not the symbolism we’re looking for! Bright sunshine also makes the unity candle ceremony hard to see and therefore less effective. For an outdoor summer wedding ritual, I’d probably suggest a sand ceremony, or a hand-fasting instead.

If children are involved, you need some kind of candle drip protectors or guards, to stop hot wax spilling on their hands. Small children obviously need close supervision.

Check that your venue is OK with candles, especially if it’s a historic building. I haven’t had a problem yet, but it’s best to check.

Where to buy:

Etsy

AgaMakesCandles

Susabellas

LanaCarvedCandles

Candles2Cherish

That’s probably everything you need to know about a unity candle ceremony. If you didn’t know what one was, I hope I’ve enlightened you (haha) and inspired you to consider having one in your wedding ceremony or celebration.

The post What is a unity candle ceremony? appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

Do you wonder if you could write a funeral tribute? I am here to say, YES you can! Why? Because the best tribute is genuine, heartfelt and simple. Many people think it must be formal and finely-crafted, using complex language. When the perceived standard is so high, it’s not surprising that many people run a mile from giving a tribute – even if they have lovely things to say. And then, another person ends up giving the tribute, just because they do a lot of work presentations or have a drama degree, which aren’t really the best criteria.

To my mind, the best funeral tribute isn’t the longest, or the shortest, the grandest, or the plainest. The best tribute is the one that captures something of  the character and life of the person who has died. And it’s delivered by the person who really wants to do it. It’s personal.

If you don’t know where to start

A lot of people say they’d like to say something at a funeral but have no idea where to start. It can be difficult to condense all your thoughts, feelings and memories into a 5 minute tribute. You may find starting with their date of birth really uninspiring. Try writing a thank you letter to the person who has died. Alternatively, make a list of everything that made them happy and see what stories and memories spring to mind. You might get random things like ‘gin and tonic’, ‘grandchildren’ and ‘fishing’ together and that’s all good.

What to say in a funeral tribute

Relevance

A tribute needs to be adapted to the audience. If you’re having a small family funeral, everyone will know about where Uncle George was brought up, his work promotions and his foreign travels BUT they probably won’t know about what he got up to with his teenage friends, smoking and lolling about in the park.

Scope

How much of the person’s life are you talking about? If it’s their whole life, don’t forget to talk to older family members or friends, to find out the bits you weren’t around for. A good tribute covers the full scope of someone’s life, unless there are solid reasons for not talking about certain things.

Detail

It’s always more interesting to hear anecdotes than straight facts.  You could say Granny made amazing roast potatoes but it’s more fun to hear about her secret recipe. Did she have one, or did she cheat and open a packet when no one was looking? This is a real story, and the answer is yes, she cheated!

Personality

What we treasure most about people we love is their unique collection of personal qualities. Talk about their strengths, and how they used them. You can also talk about their weaknesses, as long as it’s in an affectionate, respectful way. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right descriptive words, but luckily Google has all those, handily listed under the search term: ‘list of personality traits’.

Humour

Is it ok to make a joke? Yes, if the person who has died was known for their sense of humour. If it feels right, you could tell one of their favourite jokes or a funny story that they often recounted. Make sure you’re sensitive to people’s feelings and remember that some jokes don’t stand the test of time. Sometimes, humour is just inappropriate: when there has been a sudden or unexpected death, or when it would be insensitive.

Legacy

It’s always poignant to talk about a person’s legacy – to you, your family, friends, the community or their field of work? It doesn’t have to be Nobel prizeworthy. It could just be simple – like how they taught you to manage your money, or plant vegetables, or make the most of every day.

Positivity

This is the golden rule of tributes. As my mother used to say: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. If you’re not sure whether to say something, that’s a definite sign not to say it. A funeral is never the time to air secrets, grievances or past mistakes. Keep it kind and positive.

For more information on my funerals, memorials and celebrations of life, please visit my funerals page. If you’d like any help writing a funeral tribute or eulogy, please contact me.

The post How to write a funeral tribute appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

It’s not news that wedding planning in a pandemic is tricky.  It feels like being in a weird virtual wedding waiting room, where people keep coming in, but no one ever leaves. Most couples have had to review their wedding plans in some way. If you’ve postponed your wedding already, you know all about the joys of rescheduling. If you’re newly engaged, you may find it difficult to know where to start.

What can I say to help, as we wait for normality to return, sitting socially distanced, on our sanitised chairs, with the fragrance of alcohol gel filling the air …

I’d like to offer you my home-grown planning tool, to help you prioritise your wedding and make some contingency plans.

Contingency plans for peace of mind

Whatever your situation, being crystal clear on your priorities will help you. The results will either confirm what you know, or give you some new insights. They will give you more peace of mind and a greater sense of control. I think we all need plenty of those right now!

What are your wedding Must-Haves?

When planning a ceremony, a speech, or any event in my life, I class everything as one of these:

• Must Have (something I can’t/won’t budge on)
• Nice to Have (I really love this)
• Could Have, or Not (I could limit/ditch this)

For example, having your complete wedding guest list could be your must-have. You’d rather postpone the wedding than uninvite people. Alternatively, maybe the date is your must-have. You want to marry asap, or on a certain date, even if it means fewer guests. Maybe the venue is your must-have. It’s your dream venue, which works brilliantly for your guests too. Maybe you don’t know what your must-haves are yet. Now’s a good time to decide.

Make a list of the main elements of your wedding eg indoor/outdoor, type of ceremony and officiant/celebrant, the number of guests, what restrictions you will/won’t accept, venue, date, budget, entertainment, catering, clothing and so on. Next, rank each one as a Must-Have, Nice to Have, or Could Have.

There are so many tempting choices in the world of weddings. It seems like everything is a Must Have, but using this method, you’ll discover the difference. When you have zoned in on your Must Haves, they are everything you really, really want for your wedding day. This clears your mind wonderfully, and your Nice to Haves and Could Haves fall nicely into line.

Make Contingency Plans A, Plan B, and even Plan C

Your first choice and favourite wedding plan is your Plan A. It has all your Must Haves and a good selection of your Nice to Haves. The Could Haves will also be making an appearance.

Let’s hope you get your Plan A, but be ready with a killer Plan B – and possibly even a bonus Plan C. These will give you peace of mind, and options.

Please note: if this sounds difficult or worrying, remember that British people are naturally very good at this. We have an all-scenarios-covered checklist just to go to the beach. So, whether you’re British, or are marrying here, you’re covered. Don’t worry.

You can develop your Plans A, B, C as a written-out scenario. For example: Plan A is that we get married outdoors in the Mystic Hollow, in September with 100 guests. There will be no restrictions on numbers, catering and dancing. Plan B is we get married in Swish House, in December with 50 guests and a socially distanced dinner and no dancing. Plan C, we switch back to Mystic Hollow in September the following year, with our original plan for 100 guests. You could write each element of your wedding on a flashcard and lay them out in different combinations. Colour code your Must Haves – do whatever makes sense to you.

You may discover that no plan is absolutely perfect. Wedding planning in a pandemic is probably going to throw a couple of things off course. The main thing is your Must Haves. Do you still have them?

With a good slug of flexibility and good humour, you’ll get there. In the end, your biggest and best Must Have is your partner. You WILL get married, even if it’s not exactly following your Plan A. Keep looking for the unexpected silver linings that changes bring. I know how cheesy that sounds but it’s true.

On a practical note, if you’d like more information on celebrant weddings, and how they can complement your legal wedding, and what’s the difference, check out my Frequently Asked Questions

The latest info on legal weddings

If you’re looking for the latest info on legal weddings in Dorset, Devon and Somerset from the respective Registration Services, check out these links.

Dorset

Devon

Somerset

Keep talking to people, and reach out for support and advice. Just don’t get like this ….!

If you need any help or a friendly chat, I’ll be in my virtual wedding waiting room.

Contact me

The post Wedding planning in a pandemic appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.