If I’m your your wedding celebrant, you’ll have this support as standard – plus loads more, but here are some tips to get you going.

Fear not the blank page: inspiration will come!

Most people panic at the sight of a blank screen and have a mortal fear of the blank page. They (quite naturally) think that all the answers will be there for them on Google/social media.

STOP! The problem with Google/social media is that you’ll be so overwhelmed with options, you’ll have no confidence in your own ideas. Your own ideas are always the best ideas. It’s your wedding.

Remember that old trick about not thinking about pink elephants, which makes you only think about pink elephants? Google/social media give you pink elephants, green monkeys,  blue parrots – the whole safari.

Forget about everyone else’s vows, what do YOU want to say to your partner?

Be your own wordsmith

Some people think they’re no good with words and that therefore their wedding vows won’t be any good either. Not true. Your partner loves you as you are, and if your wedding vows sound like you, that’s perfect. I’m not just indulging you here – it’s true. When you use your own normal words and expressions, your vows will sound right. ‘Right’ means genuine, personal and original, which is exactly what your wedding ceremony should be.

Pair up your wedding vows

My final tip is all about pairing up your wedding vows, so you and your partner are both happy with them. Think about matching the length and the tone. You can choose to say the same thing, or your might personalise them. You could do something completely different from each other. Your vows should be serious and heartfelt, but you can add humour if that feels right.

Whatever else you say … remember to say ‘I love you’!!

Go for it!

And finally – start early, don’t procrastinate. You’ll feel great when your vows are done and they will be ‘wower’ with the extra time and effort you put in. Have fun with them and be proud of your vows.

Need more help? Get in touch – I’d love to help you create your perfect wedding. For more info on my bespoke ceremonies, take a look at my weddings page

If you love Xinmei and Josh’s wedding photo, check out their photographer White Stag Wedding Photography

The post All the wows with your vows! How to write your own wedding vows appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

If you’re mulling this over, it might feel like you have two equally unappealing choices. Either you take your child to the funeral and risk them being upset, or leave them at school, feeling excluded. It sounds like a lose-lose, doesn’t it.

Our concerns about taking a child to a funeral

We all want to protect children from any potentially unpleasant or negative experiences. We think a funeral might make them feel too sad, seeing other people crying. They might feel afraid of the hearse, the black-suited bearers – the gloomy trappings of death. They might feel intimidated by so many new people and the unfamiliar surroundings. They might feel confused about where their relative is and what death actually means. Plus, there’s a lot of general fear, and creepy superstition around death, which really doesn’t help at all.

Why it’s good for children to go to funerals

As a celebrant, with experience of many funerals, I’m confident that children of all ages can benefit enormously from attending these ceremonies. With the comfort and love of their family, they learn vital life lessons about how we celebrate and mourn our loved ones when they die. The advice from experts and child bereavement charities is also that grief may be stalled if children don’t go to funerals, causing them emotional problems in the future.  I observed this when preparing a funeral for a father of 3 grown up children. These siblings (now in their 60s) told me how their mum had died while they were teenagers, and they hadn’t been allowed to go to her funeral. They had never properly grieved for her. Fifty years later, we created a space for that  unexpressed love and sadness, within their father’s funeral. It was very cathartic and emotional.

There may be times when it’s not appropriate for children to go to funerals and if they don’t want to go, that’s fine. If you don’t want them to go, it’s worth considering the reasons and whether there’s a way for them to come, so everyone benefits.

How to prepare a child for a funeral

What I’ve learned is that children usually cope very well at  funerals. Here are a few tips based on my experiences.

Get them involved with planning the funeral. Instead of putting emphasis on smart new clothes, which sends out a ‘party’ message, encourage them to contribute to the service or wake.  Children may like to share their memories, draw a picture or put a flower on the coffin.

Tell them what will happen. Show them pictures of the venue, the hearses, the funeral director and the service sheet, so they know what to expect.

Reassure them about things that won’t happen. Children have vivid imaginations, so answer their questions honestly. Let them know that the coffin lid is securely closed; a cremator is not scary – just like a large brick pizza oven, and they won’t see any fire or flames. They might be surprised that a funeral isn’t even half as long as their favourite film and then they’ll be heading off for sandwiches and cake. Forget the sandwiches, just the cake.

Humanise the process. Tell them about the personality of the funeral director; that the bearers are all grandads and only wear black out of respect. Talk about how you chose the flowers and who’ll be doing them, and who the celebrant is and what their role is. I find children are much more relaxed at the funeral when they’ve met me beforehand, on their home territory.

Talk about the bigger picture. Children often want to talk about what happens after death, so they feel comforted that their relative is safe and not lost. It’s helpful for them to explore different perspectives that might be different from your own, so that in time, they can develop their own viewpoint.

Express your feelings. Children, especially young children pick up on the atmosphere at a funeral, without always understanding the emotions. Let them know it’s normal to feel different ones – ranging from sadness that grandad has died, to laughing about a funny story. Children switch between emotions faster than adults, which is their way of coping. You can help your child understand that grief is manageable and everything will be OK.

On the day

Take something for your child to do, in case the service is long. You’ll notice that crematoria and churches are a lot more relaxed these days, so try not to worry about your child(ren). If their chat is very loud and disruptive, someone can be appointed to distract them, or go outside with them.

By taking your child to a funeral, you’ll be helping them to navigate the choppy waters of life, making them more resilient, empathetic adults.

Mosaic, the children’s bereavement charity has some really useful information for parents and children. Find their parents’ and guardians’ leaflet here.

For more information on my funerals and celebrations of life, please take a look at my website.

The post Should I take my child to a funeral? appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

I’m no politician, so I’ll tell you straight that my weddings cost £700. And now, can I tell you why a wedding celebrant is worth every penny, and what you’ll get for your money. You’re getting a beautiful, bespoke wedding ceremony, AND you’re getting something money can’t buy. In a nutshell, it’s a unique, richer more ‘wow!’ experience of a wedding ceremony that no one will have ever seen before.

Why have a wedding celebrant?

Weddings are full of beautiful things, but how many tug on the heartstrings like the moment you exchange your vows? This is the emotional heart of the day. It’s the bit everyone looks forward to, like the jammy heart in a jammy dodger biscuit. A celebrant frames that moment with a beautiful ceremony, full of your personality, meaning and joy.  It’s much more than just words: it’s a shared feeling of connection. Your guests get a deeper insight into your your world, and hear your love story told in a brilliant, original way.  And all that – even before we get to your vows!

So, let me tell you what I invest in your wedding.

What’s included in my ceremony fee?

My fee is based on the complete time we work together, not just the length of the ceremony. I spend time getting to know you, and then researching, thinking, creating, writing and delivering your ceremony. That’s the same process, whether your wedding is 30 minutes or 45 minutes long.

We get to know each other via face to face meetings, a couple of thought-provoking questionnaires, emails, phone calls and texts. I ask you questions; you ask me questions… like this one for a couple who met at Pizza Hut:

I give you my creative ideas, and my ability to upscale your ideas and make them happen, as you imagine. I have years of professional and creative copywriting experience, so I can express your thoughts, in a way that sounds natural and right for you. You get my degree in English Literature, which helps me find the kind of readings you might like, plus you get my nerdy obsession with interesting words.

You get my membership of celebrant networks, which gives me training and keeps my work fresh. You get my years as a registrar, to help you navigate the English legal marriage system. You get my industry contacts, to help you find the best suppliers of things like candles and ribbons.

You get my shiny new PA system and my fancy presentation script in a smart box. And you get free mileage 20 miles outside my home town of Bridport.

AND of course, you get ME – all the way from the booking stage to when you become brand new newlyweds. I’m here to muse with you, help you, celebrate with you, empathise and commiserate with you if this get stressful. I’m a sounding board for your thoughts, and someone you can turn to for wedding advice. I’m like a professional wedding buddy; we’ll have lots of chats and laughs in the run-up to your big day.

And when that day dawns, I’m very calm. I’ll help you with nerves, wobbly legs, a last-minute needs for water and tissues, the label that sticks out, the stray thread on your dress, the guest that needs a chair, or a chat. I’ll take a photo, move a table – whatever needs doing. And I’ll deliver your ceremony confidently and engagingly. When I look out and see your friends and family smiling at you, laughing at a bit of your love story, or shedding a sneaky tear – that makes me happy.

Together, we’ll have created something really special and wonderful memories you’ll keep forever. Everyone will enjoy it and talk about it. That’s the kind of wedding I offer. Is it your kind of wedding too?

Head over to my Weddings page to find out more.

The post How much does a wedding celebrant cost? appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

A unity candle ceremony is a wedding ritual which uses lighted candles to symbolise the uniting of a couple in marriage. It’s one of my favourite symbolic rituals, because it’s simple, meaningful and unpretentious. It adds an extra dimension to a wedding ceremony, it looks beautiful and everyone gets it.

It’s typically used for the wedding couple, but it can represent the uniting of the couple’s two families through marriage. I also like to use it to include step-children into a second marriage. The unity candle, with individual candles for all the children, expresses the children’s importance within the new family: all together, equally loved and special.

I might also offer a unity candle as part of a celebration of life, to express how the person who has died is still at the heart of the family, loved and remembered.

Why candles?

There’s something special about a candle. Its flickering flame and subtle colours of yellow, orange and blue draw us in. A candle is an ancient symbol of dispelling darkness or negative energy and bringing in light, or positive energy. A candle radiates warmth and calm. Candles are often associated with love and romance. What would a romantic dinner for two be without a candle? Some people worry that candles are a bit ‘churchy’ for them, but in a modern ceremony context, they really aren’t.

And the last reason I like it, is because a unity candle has its own life, beyond your special day. You can light it again on your wedding anniversary, family reunions Christmas Day (or your equivalent celebration), or birthdays. It will always remind you of the first moment you lit it and the significance of that day. It’s a lovely memory when things are going well, and it might be a good visual ‘reset’, when you’re having a bad day/getting on each other’s nerves!!

How does the ceremony work?

In a wedding ceremony, I feel the best moment for a unity candle ceremony is after the vows and the exchange of rings. It’s meaningful at this point, as we’re looking ahead to the future.

I explain to your guests that you have chosen a unity candle ceremony to symbolise your combined personalities, hopes and intentions for your marriage. For most people, this will be new to them and they won’t have seen it before, so I’m careful to make sure they feel included.

I’ll invite you to light your individual candles and then after I’ve said some blessing words that I’ve written for you personally, you’ll light the unity candle together. It can be done in a quiet, reflective way, or in a spirit of happiness and celebration, depending on the atmosphere you want to create.

For a celebration of life, I would want to light the candle at the beginning, as a visual reminder that the person who has died, is always with us, in memory, or in spirit – according to your beliefs.

What do you need for a unity candle ceremony?

You will need two or more smaller candles to symbolise you as a couple, or more, if you’re including other family members. You’ll also need one large unity pillar candle. The unity candle needs to be on a stand; the smaller candles can be in candlesticks, or you just want the unity candle to burn, you can just extinguish the dinner candles and lay them down. It does look good having them all burning together, but it’s your choice.

You can find some beautiful candles on Etsy. Some have natural themes, some are personalised, there are carved styles, minimalist styles and super-swanky- bling styles.

Things to bear in mind

A ritual should always feel right for you and how you are. Don’t have one for the sake of it. The unity candle ceremony is very versatile, but it’s not going to be right for everyone.

Candles are hopeless outside, unless you are using a hurricane lamp. Even so, the slightest gust of wind could blow them out, which is not the symbolism we’re looking for! Bright sunshine also makes the unity candle ceremony hard to see and therefore less effective. For an outdoor summer wedding ritual, I’d probably suggest a sand ceremony, or a hand-fasting instead.

If children are involved, you need some kind of candle drip protectors or guards, to stop hot wax spilling on their hands. Small children obviously need close supervision.

Check that your venue is OK with candles, especially if it’s a historic building. I haven’t had a problem yet, but it’s best to check.

Where to buy:

Etsy

AgaMakesCandles

Susabellas

LanaCarvedCandles

Candles2Cherish

That’s probably everything you need to know about a unity candle ceremony. If you didn’t know what one was, I hope I’ve enlightened you (haha) and inspired you to consider having one in your wedding ceremony or celebration.

The post What is a unity candle ceremony? appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

Do you wonder if you could write a funeral tribute? I am here to say, YES you can! Why? Because the best tribute is genuine, heartfelt and simple. Many people think it must be formal and finely-crafted, using complex language. When the perceived standard is so high, it’s not surprising that many people run a mile from giving a tribute – even if they have lovely things to say. And then, another person ends up giving the tribute, just because they do a lot of work presentations or have a drama degree, which aren’t really the best criteria.

To my mind, the best funeral tribute isn’t the longest, or the shortest, the grandest, or the plainest. The best tribute is the one that captures something of  the character and life of the person who has died. And it’s delivered by the person who really wants to do it. It’s personal.

If you don’t know where to start

A lot of people say they’d like to say something at a funeral but have no idea where to start. It can be difficult to condense all your thoughts, feelings and memories into a 5 minute tribute. You may find starting with their date of birth really uninspiring. Try writing a thank you letter to the person who has died. Alternatively, make a list of everything that made them happy and see what stories and memories spring to mind. You might get random things like ‘gin and tonic’, ‘grandchildren’ and ‘fishing’ together and that’s all good.

What to say in a funeral tribute

Relevance

A tribute needs to be adapted to the audience. If you’re having a small family funeral, everyone will know about where Uncle George was brought up, his work promotions and his foreign travels BUT they probably won’t know about what he got up to with his teenage friends, smoking and lolling about in the park.

Scope

How much of the person’s life are you talking about? If it’s their whole life, don’t forget to talk to older family members or friends, to find out the bits you weren’t around for. A good tribute covers the full scope of someone’s life, unless there are solid reasons for not talking about certain things.

Detail

It’s always more interesting to hear anecdotes than straight facts.  You could say Granny made amazing roast potatoes but it’s more fun to hear about her secret recipe. Did she have one, or did she cheat and open a packet when no one was looking? This is a real story, and the answer is yes, she cheated!

Personality

What we treasure most about people we love is their unique collection of personal qualities. Talk about their strengths, and how they used them. You can also talk about their weaknesses, as long as it’s in an affectionate, respectful way. Sometimes it’s hard to think of the right descriptive words, but luckily Google has all those, handily listed under the search term: ‘list of personality traits’.

Humour

Is it ok to make a joke? Yes, if the person who has died was known for their sense of humour. If it feels right, you could tell one of their favourite jokes or a funny story that they often recounted. Make sure you’re sensitive to people’s feelings and remember that some jokes don’t stand the test of time. Sometimes, humour is just inappropriate: when there has been a sudden or unexpected death, or when it would be insensitive.

Legacy

It’s always poignant to talk about a person’s legacy – to you, your family, friends, the community or their field of work? It doesn’t have to be Nobel prizeworthy. It could just be simple – like how they taught you to manage your money, or plant vegetables, or make the most of every day.

Positivity

This is the golden rule of tributes. As my mother used to say: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. If you’re not sure whether to say something, that’s a definite sign not to say it. A funeral is never the time to air secrets, grievances or past mistakes. Keep it kind and positive.

For more information on my funerals, memorials and celebrations of life, please visit my funerals page. If you’d like any help writing a funeral tribute or eulogy, please contact me.

The post How to write a funeral tribute appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

It’s not news that wedding planning in a pandemic is tricky.  It feels like being in a weird virtual wedding waiting room, where people keep coming in, but no one ever leaves. Most couples have had to review their wedding plans in some way. If you’ve postponed your wedding already, you know all about the joys of rescheduling. If you’re newly engaged, you may find it difficult to know where to start.

What can I say to help, as we wait for normality to return, sitting socially distanced, on our sanitised chairs, with the fragrance of alcohol gel filling the air …

I’d like to offer you my home-grown planning tool, to help you prioritise your wedding and make some contingency plans.

Contingency plans for peace of mind

Whatever your situation, being crystal clear on your priorities will help you. The results will either confirm what you know, or give you some new insights. They will give you more peace of mind and a greater sense of control. I think we all need plenty of those right now!

What are your wedding Must-Haves?

When planning a ceremony, a speech, or any event in my life, I class everything as one of these:

• Must Have (something I can’t/won’t budge on)
• Nice to Have (I really love this)
• Could Have, or Not (I could limit/ditch this)

For example, having your complete wedding guest list could be your must-have. You’d rather postpone the wedding than uninvite people. Alternatively, maybe the date is your must-have. You want to marry asap, or on a certain date, even if it means fewer guests. Maybe the venue is your must-have. It’s your dream venue, which works brilliantly for your guests too. Maybe you don’t know what your must-haves are yet. Now’s a good time to decide.

Make a list of the main elements of your wedding eg indoor/outdoor, type of ceremony and officiant/celebrant, the number of guests, what restrictions you will/won’t accept, venue, date, budget, entertainment, catering, clothing and so on. Next, rank each one as a Must-Have, Nice to Have, or Could Have.

There are so many tempting choices in the world of weddings. It seems like everything is a Must Have, but using this method, you’ll discover the difference. When you have zoned in on your Must Haves, they are everything you really, really want for your wedding day. This clears your mind wonderfully, and your Nice to Haves and Could Haves fall nicely into line.

Make Contingency Plans A, Plan B, and even Plan C

Your first choice and favourite wedding plan is your Plan A. It has all your Must Haves and a good selection of your Nice to Haves. The Could Haves will also be making an appearance.

Let’s hope you get your Plan A, but be ready with a killer Plan B – and possibly even a bonus Plan C. These will give you peace of mind, and options.

Please note: if this sounds difficult or worrying, remember that British people are naturally very good at this. We have an all-scenarios-covered checklist just to go to the beach. So, whether you’re British, or are marrying here, you’re covered. Don’t worry.

You can develop your Plans A, B, C as a written-out scenario. For example: Plan A is that we get married outdoors in the Mystic Hollow, in September with 100 guests. There will be no restrictions on numbers, catering and dancing. Plan B is we get married in Swish House, in December with 50 guests and a socially distanced dinner and no dancing. Plan C, we switch back to Mystic Hollow in September the following year, with our original plan for 100 guests. You could write each element of your wedding on a flashcard and lay them out in different combinations. Colour code your Must Haves – do whatever makes sense to you.

You may discover that no plan is absolutely perfect. Wedding planning in a pandemic is probably going to throw a couple of things off course. The main thing is your Must Haves. Do you still have them?

With a good slug of flexibility and good humour, you’ll get there. In the end, your biggest and best Must Have is your partner. You WILL get married, even if it’s not exactly following your Plan A. Keep looking for the unexpected silver linings that changes bring. I know how cheesy that sounds but it’s true.

On a practical note, if you’d like more information on celebrant weddings, and how they can complement your legal wedding, and what’s the difference, check out my Frequently Asked Questions

The latest info on legal weddings

If you’re looking for the latest info on legal weddings in Dorset, Devon and Somerset from the respective Registration Services, check out these links.

Dorset

Devon

Somerset

Keep talking to people, and reach out for support and advice. Just don’t get like this ….!

If you need any help or a friendly chat, I’ll be in my virtual wedding waiting room.

Contact me

The post Wedding planning in a pandemic appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

Everyone wants their wedding ceremony to be memorable right?! No one ever actually plans for anyone to forget it, yet the ceremony sometimes gets short-shrift. Couples tell me they’re worried about their guests being bored during their ceremony. If that’s you, you’re in the right place: I can’t stand boring ceremonies either. I specialise in ceremonies that draw people in, and which are original and memorable, and personal. Here are some ways you can make your wedding ceremony more ‘you’.

Make it engaging

If people don’t know each other or feel included, a ceremony can feel a bit exclusive. A wedding ceremony should be a shared, joyful experience, not something anyone is passively observing. It’s my job to engage your guests, whilst keeping the focus on you. Any celebrant can, at the very least, namecheck key people; better still have a bit of info on them. You can get your friends and family involved in readings, blessings and symbolic rituals. I also have a few ideas for embarrassment-free ice breakers and tricks, to get people more connected.

Make it emotional

A personal ceremony fires up the happy, lovely emotions, which we all want – especially at a wedding. Some British people have a low threshold for big touchy-feely displays of physical affection, but ALL of us want to feel the love on a wedding day. For starters, consider the words of your ceremony. Words are so powerful in expressing emotion. They can get us roaring with laughter, whooping with joy, and sometimes shedding a quiet, happy tear. The right words, which convey genuine emotion – are absolute gold.

Make it relevant

We’ve all been to a wedding unfortunately, which is the standard ‘fixed price menu’ of ceremonies. There’s an unspoken sense of ‘take it or leave it’, ‘this is how it is’. Often the problem is that the ceremony is stuffed full of random, generalised, gushy cliches about love and marriage that you can’t relate to.  It’s quotable, Instagram-able padding which adds nothing to the ceremony – except time. Can you tell I’m not a fan?! It’s boring and the opposite of memorable. You could be spending that time, champagne in hand, chatting to friends and family you haven’t seen for 10 years. You deserve a wedding ceremony that’s relevant to you. I reckon to spend around 4 hours actually talking and listening to my wedding couples. I also get more brilliant info from the questionnaires I send out.

Make the vibe right

A ceremony is memorable when the vibe is right. This is a nuanced thing.  If your wedding theme is boho, fun and the tone of the ceremony is too formal, there’s an obvious mismatch. The right vibe is the one you choose, and it’s very personal. For example, I might show two couples the same love poem and one will say it’s beautiful and romantic, and the other will say it’s cheesy. A good ceremony gets the vibe right all the way through, which enhances your whole wedding day. By the way, I think this photo is cute, but if you think it’s naff – that’s OK.

Make it original

As individuals we are all so brilliantly original. I’m not talking about creative genius, or Nobel prize-winning originality. I mean the everyday originality of each and every one of us.  When I meet couples for the first time, it doesn’t take long for this to come out in their funny/endearing/ridiculous/clever personality traits, habits and sayings. Next, I like to hear about the adventures, mishaps, jobs, families and friends. And the best bit by far, is your love story, with all its twists and turns, to the happy ending. Together it’s the most amazing cocktail for an original wedding ceremony. Celebrating your originality is absolutely always memorable and never boring.

For a wedding ceremony to be really memorable, it has to be personal, all about YOU. It needs to have energy, be relevant, not too long, with a mix of emotions, and a big soft heart in the centre, when you make your vows and your mum/dad/best friend start to cry. There are also so many extra sprinkles and sparkles of originality that you can add. As your celebrant, I bring lots of ideas to the table.

No more boring wedding ceremonies! I’m excited to hear your story. Find out more here about your original, beautiful wedding ceremony.

The post No more boring weddings! Five ways to make your wedding more memorable appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

Thirty is still the magic, somewhat random number for people allowed to attend weddings and funerals. We all know what’s not so great about 30. It can be a difficult, almost impossible task to reduce a large list of family and friends to that. Large families will probably hit 30 before they’ve even got to their cousins. But are there any silver linings to this cloud? Is there any way that a small ceremony could be good for you?

Like everyone, as a celebrant, I’ve had to adapt to the new restrictions. In some ways, I’ve enjoyed the challenge. Some families have been relieved by the change. So, channeling my inner Pollyanna, I set my mind to think of as many advantages as possible of a small ceremony.  As it turns out, they are pretty significant.

The advantages of a small ceremony

Intimate: smaller ceremonies give you the opportunity to talk in-depth to your guests, in a way that’s impossible with a large group.

Less pressure: if you find the spotlight stressful, a smaller gathering will be easier for you. Only having your nearest and dearest around you could be just what you need to deal with stress, nerves or a sense of overwhelm.

Relaxed: large numbers require much more organisation, with lots of logistics to deal with eg who’s staying where, is there enough parking, special dietary requirements, mobility issues, entertainment for kids and so on.

Cost: a smaller event will be cheaper. With the average wedding costing £34,000 and even a modest funeral wake costing from £1,000, a scaled-down occasion could make a big difference. You always have the choice of course, either to save the money, or just blow the budget on fewer people!

Cosy: smaller numbers mean a smaller venue, which can bring a very cosy vibe. As we approach autumn and winter, you can indulge in the whole open fire, warm colours, winter wonderland theme.

Expectations: if you’ve been getting low-level direction, or overt expectations from your family or friends, maybe this is the perfect opportunity to free yourself of those and do exactly what you want.

Focus: What is your ceremony all about? When numbers are limited, it helps you focus on who’s most important and the love and meaning behind your ceremony – which will be the same, whether it’s in front of 30 or 300 people.

A small or large ceremony? Consider all your options

My advice is to consider all the possible options, and don’t reject anything straightaway. Maybe you’ll stick with your original plan, or maybe you’ll go with a small ceremony. There are so many ways to say ‘I do’, ‘farewell’: don’t feel you need to be limited to just what you’ve heard. Talking to a celebrant can open up new possibilities.

I hope that whatever decision you reach, it brings you a much-needed and genuine, Zen-like calm in these perplexing days.

The post 30 is the magic number: why a small ceremony could be good for you appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

My tips for a memorable, successful outdoor ceremony

In time-honoured blog fashion, I have 10 tips up my sleeve, and they apply to all kinds of ceremony. I’m interested in beautiful, practical and personal ceremonies, which skip neatly around most of the most common pitfalls.

1. The UK weather. Enough said. You and your guests are planning to look your best, so don’t let the weather ruin it. Having a Plan B is essential. Fortunately, we’re very good at this in the UK.  Too hot, too cold, too wet, too windy are all things that happen. Wet weather is best dealt with by going under cover. Umbrellas work up to a point but only when the rain comes straight down, and even then you’ll have a soggy lap – not a good look. On a hot day, it only takes a few minutes sitting on a plastic chair to feel uncomfortable. So seek out natural shade, rig up an awning, hire a gazebo, or a marquee. Offer water, paper fans, white umbrellas and suncream. For the odd shower, white or clear umbrellas look nicer than a mismatch of wonky, patterned and  branded brollies.

2. Are they sitting comfortably? This question is just as much about focus and concentration. We all relax better when we’re sitting down. Also, it’s good to consider the needs of the older generation and families with young children. People tend to overestimate how long they’ll be comfortable standing. I reckon 20 minutes – tops. Arrange your seating in a warm, friendly curve, so everyone can see each other.

3. Create a backdrop. Again, Nature often provides a stunning solution. If you’re having a photographer, she/he will make a bee-line for a good backdrop. You can also create a beautiful focal point with flowers, awnings, archways, or just the view into the distance. I wrote a blog all about that, if you need some inspiration.

4. Think about the light. Most photographers prefer the light earlier or later in the day. It’s not only more flattering, but the noon sun can be unforgiving. The general tendency in life is to have a ceremony, followed by a feast, so if you’re offering lunch, I would start the ceremony at 11.30am. Sunset ceremonies are also lovely.

5. Theme it. Even a simple colour theme brings a ceremony together visually. Looking deeper, how do you want your guests to feel and remember about the occasion. Will your day be playful, joyous, serious or reflective?  If you want an relaxed, romantic atmosphere – what will you choose for the colours, sights, smells, tastes and sounds?

6. Manage background noise. When the stage is all set for a romantic declaration of love and someone decides that THIS is the perfect time to rev up the chainsaw or mow the lawn, it does breaks the spell. If you’re at a hotel venue, that’s less of a problem. If you’re using your own garden, have a friendly word with the neighbours.

7. Can everybody hear me?! Forget the chainsaw, even Nature can be surprisingly noisy and if you have seagulls (we have lots of seagulls in Dorset), or even just a windy day, you can lose sound very easily. A simple microphone and speaker may be needed.

8. Music makes a ceremony. The right choice of music really brings a ceremony to life and helps create the atmosphere you’re after. Live musicians are always wonderful. If you’re using recorded music, check your system and then check it again. It’s incredible how something that works perfectly in one setting, refuses to in another. If you’re paranoid like me, have a back-up,  preferably with lovely wires.

9. Have a clear beginning and end to your ceremony. It can be slightly more challenging to round up guests for outdoor ceremonies. Have a ceremony sheet or at least clear instructions that We’re Starting Now and Time For Champagne, and so on. At the end, you want to keep the momentum and not have confused people drifting off into the middle distance. Rounding people up and keeping them in the right place for the ceremony is also part of my job as a celebrant.

10. Put your heart into it. This is a bit of a cheat but it’s as true of an outdoor ceremony as an indoor one. A ceremony is only as good as the words that are used: beautiful, heartfelt words that capture your thoughts and feelings. The real magic comes when a ceremony is a true expression of you. This takes time, thought, experience and an excellent celebrant (lol). Words and I have been best friends for a very long time.

If you have an occasion in mind, think about how a bespoke ceremony could lift it from being a special day to an extraordinarily wonderful, brilliant day! If I can help you, I’d love to x.

The post Make your outdoor ceremony a big success appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.

What does a wedding celebrant do?

A wedding celebrant creates a highly-personalised wedding ceremony,  tailored to a couple’s personalities and the style of their wedding day. The ceremony is crafted – like a made-to-measure suit, or a bespoke wedding dress. I spend time with you, getting to know you, understanding the vibe you want to create on your wedding day, so the ceremony fits you both perfectly.

What’s different about a celebrant wedding?

A celebrant wedding is the most free and flexible ceremony you can imagine. Every word is something that you choose, rather than something pre-set, imposed on you by a faith tradition or the law. With a celebrant wedding, you can have your ceremony anywhere, on any day of the week and at any time. Whatever your passions are in life, eg: travel, cocktails, dogs, dance music, we can find a place for them in your ceremony. If you have a faith, or traditions from your heritage or upbringing, we can reflect those too. The final result is a ceremony that feels completely right for you and is a highlight of your wedding day.

Can a wedding celebrant legally marry people?

No, unfortunately not. In England and Wales, only church ministers and registrars are licensed to legally marry people. Until the law changes (hopefully one day soon), in a celebrant wedding, the legal side of marriage is separate from the bespoke ceremony.

So, how does a celebrant wedding work?

With a celebrant wedding, the legal and personal ceremonies are separated. The legal ceremony could be minutes before your celebrant ceremony, or the day before or weeks or months beforehand. It might be in the UK or abroad. The legal ceremony must be arranged through a UK registration service or the foreign equivalent. After that, your celebrant wedding can take place wherever, whenever or however you choose. It’s wise to book a celebrant at the same time as your legal ceremony, as the most popular summer dates get booked up months, even years in advance.

If we have a legal and a bespoke ceremony, will it feel like we’re getting married twice?

No, it won’t feel like you are getting married twice because the two ceremonies are so different. For your legal marriage, you can book a full ceremony or just a legal signing at a UK registry office. For the legal signing, you will make a two simple legal declarations and sign the paperwork. You won’t exchange rings or the emotional, personal vows, which are included in a full ceremony. A legal signing often involves only immediate family and/or close friends. Although it feels significant, it is more of a simple legal undertaking than a celebratory wedding ceremony. If you marry abroad, naturally it will feel very different for that reason. There are several options and I am always happy to talk them over.

The wedding ceremony that I create for you will be different firstly because we get to know each other and secondly, because your ceremony is unique to you. No one will have the same, ever. You will be making your commitment in your own way. Everything is bespoke: from the moment you walk down the aisle (if you want to do that), to the confetti shower (if you’d like one of those).

What happens at a celebrant wedding?

What happens at a celebrant wedding is whatever you want. I offer you choices at every step. Many couples like to keep the familiar traditions of a wedding, walking down the aisle, the vows, exchange of rings, music and maybe a reading.

After that, there are lots of ways to modernise and personalise your ceremony. One of the most personal elements of a celebrant wedding is your love story. I will tell your story in a way that engages your guests. It will be authentic, romantic, funny and full of the love you share. I’ll talk to you about extra ideas, including symbolic rituals, such as a unity candle, handfasting or a sand ceremony. You might like the idea of live music and a singalong. We can include your friends and family, or the ceremony can just be the two of you. If you want to bring your dog, your baby, or your children – that’s great. Working with dogs and children is one of my specialities!

The ceremony will have your personalities stamped all over it. It might be quiet and romantic, or boisterous and full of laughter. There won’t be anything fake or boring about it; everything will mean something special to you.

If you have different nationalities, faiths, family or cultural traditions, these too can be woven into your ceremony.

Can we combine our civil and celebrant ceremonies?

It may be possible. Each registration district has its own guidelines. It’s always worth asking the question.

How long is a celebrant wedding ceremony?

My weddings tend to range from 30-50 minutes – typically the same as a church wedding and probably a little longer than a registration service wedding.

Who chooses a wedding celebrant?

All kinds of people choose a wedding celebrant, for a variety of different reasons. Some couples feel that neither a church, nor a civil wedding is right for them. This may be to do with their beliefs, or simply that they want to have a ceremony that really reflects who they are, led by a celebrant they have chosen. Some couples really want to be married in an unlicensed venue or a place that’s special to them, such as their family farm, or in their garden at home. There are couples who have already been legally married abroad and want to celebrate their wedding with family and friends in the UK. And there are those who want to celebrate their commitment, without being legally married. It’s all about choosing what feels right for you. And I hope it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that I welcome LGBTQ couples.

Is a celebrant wedding much more expensive?

No – it’s not. I am completely open about my fees upfront. I charge £700 for a bespoke wedding ceremony. The simplest legal signing and notices costs £127 in most districts. To find out what’s included in my fee, please click here: Beautiful Day Celebrant weddings.

For registration service prices in your area, visit your local council’s website. Here are Dorset Council’s wedding prices .

How do I find the right wedding celebrant for me?

It’s really important to find someone you like, who you feel understands you and your ideas for your wedding. You’ll see many different wedding celebrants, with their own personality and style. I hope my website gives a clear impression of the kind of person I am: friendly, professional and creative. I’m always happy to have a phone or zoom meeting with you, with no obligation. It’s a chance for you to think through the different options, ask me questions and feel confident that you are making the right choice for you.

You can find out more about my ceremonies on Instagram @alicendines and Facebook @alicendinescelebrant. I am listed on Hitched and The Celebrant Directory

If you’d like to know more, get in touch. I’d love to hear from you. alicen@beautifuldaycelebrant.com, or 07976 360202.

The post What is a wedding celebrant? And other frequently asked questions appeared first on Beautiful Day Celebrant.